Trent Lott

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Trent Lott is the whipper of minorities in the Senate.

Trent Lott had previously served as the Senate Minority and Majority leader until his ouster in 2003 at the end of the novel Lord of the Flies. At the end of Lord of the Flies, House Majority Leader Tom Delay drove Lott out of power for selling the atom bomb to Iraqistanis in exchange for enough beads to buy a small island from an Indian tribe. Lott was later disappointed to find out that India is a subcontinent and most Indians would rather be paid rupees for low-quality cut-rate tech support jobs.

Early Life[edit]

Trent Lott was born on December 24, 1942 abord the U.S. aircraft carrier Enterprise during the Battle of Kwanzaa at the end of The War on Christmas to Darlene and Mykop Lott, landholding Jews who had been captured and enslaved by Christians during the Islamofascist phase of the war.

Lott was raised by the childless Generalissimo Rudolph Guiliani aboard the Enterprise for the remainder of the war.

When the war ended in 1953 with the Treaty of Versailles, Guiliani dropped Lott off at the nearest port of call, which happened to be Biloxi, MS.

Lott grew up eating out of dumpsters and begging for change outside casinos until he was discovered by Tom Delay, then the head of Hoston chapter of the notorious street gang, the Gangster Disciples.

Formative Years[edit]

Delay taught Lott how to harness the powers of the Dark Side of the force. Ostensibly Christian in upbringing, Delay's brand of Republicanism required that all children be thoroughly corrupted by the Dark Side before becoming a Sith Lord.

Delay eventually tired of Lott, and handed him over to an older Sith Lord, Darth Strom Thurmond.

Darth Thurmond taught Lott how to use the evil powers of race to make the Dark Side even stronger.

Entry into Politics[edit]

Darth Lott grew stronger than Darth Thrumond and killed him with a 16" long black dildo applied liberally to the head.

Political Career[edit]

Lott begun to threaten to kill all kittens the minute he arrived in Washington to take Thurmond's throne in the Masonic temple hidden beneath the Capitol.

He never did eat a kitten, but that has never stopped him from threatening to do so.

Fall of Trent Lott[edit]

In the winter of 2003, Tom Delay discovered that Trent Lott had been hiding in the Senate chamber.

Delay remembered all the evil Lott had caused him, and told the world that Trent Lott jerked off to those odd Japanese porn videos where girls just kind of giggle, don't do much, and then get shat upon.

Lott left the Majority Leader's position in disgrace.

He committed ritual suicide unsuccessfully on January 3, 2004.

After being rescued by a she-wolf and restored to life, Lott returned to Washington to begin planning his return to power.

He is still planning.


Whipper Lott finally gave up in the end of 2007, delivering heartbreaking good-bye speech:

My fellow Mississippians and Americans. I'm leaving the United States Senate, but don't cry for me... Everything I did i did for all of you, except of course to blacks. I will never be far from your hearts... Now I will serve you in private sector, lobbying or other distinguished place to improve my and, by the way, maybe your lives. So I can, when I'm leaving elective office, finally say this: I HATE NIGGERS! So long, suckers!