Triangular theory of love

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The triangular theory of love is a theory that the only real kind of love is the love that a grown man feels towards a triangle. There are three different elements involved in the ways that a man loves a triangle: sexiness of its right angles, size and pointiness of corners. It was developed by Anonymous. Different stages and types of triangle love can be confused with different members of Congress, which leads to a premature ejaculation. Anonymous states that a triangle standing on a single corner is less likely to stay up than one with two corners on the ground.

“I'd hit it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on triangles

Forms of triangle love[edit]

Combinations of sexiness of right angles, size and pointiness of corners
  sexiness of right angles size pointiness of corners
Perversion or friendship
Stupid Love  
sex is fun
Pointy Love    
Fatal Attraction
Salmon Love
Fat-man love  
Condom love

The relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an adult romantic relationship develops.

  1. Perversion is the most common of all triangle love. Perversion is also widely known as "friendship", especially in the America-land.
  2. Stupid Love consists solely of a concern of the size of a triangle, which is stupid because size doesn't matter. Unless you build skyscrapers.
  3. Pointy Love is the most painful of all triangle loves, and I'm sure you can conclude why it might be damaging (physically) to the triangles partner, especially during love-making.
  4. Fatal Attraction is a shitty movie.
  5. Salmon love can be viewed on the Discovery Channel. It really has nothing to do with triangle love, but more of two salmon having sex.
  6. Fat-man Love is the love that a fat man feels towards any type of triangular food item, felt to be one of the strongest emotions recorded in history, another being Oscar Wilde's gayness.
  7. Condom Love is the only love that matters. It has only been reached by three people in history, and all of them died immediately afterwards. It is not suggested that anyone engage in condom love, or even mention it.

Other Theories[edit]

Some scientists believe that the three points on a triangle can be a quote "total turn off" to men. In fact, recent studies have shown an increase in the tendency for men to love squares. Although this has never been proven, it might just solve all of life's mysteries.