Trig Palin

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Trig Palin's father and role model.

“I'd like nothing more than to have sex with Bristol and Sarah at the same time, while Trig Palin watches”

~ Most men on Trig Palin

“Who the heck names their kid "Trig"? Seriously.”

~ Everyone on Trig palin

Trig Palin (Ironically named, since he will never master Trigonometry) is a hilariously retarded demon child made up of a little of Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin, Fred Phelps, and some semen forced out of Todd Palin's penis. He is Bristol Palin's first child and is the first grandson/fifth son of 2008 Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin.

There has been some debate over whether or not Trig Palin actually has down syndrome. Some observers claim that Trig's unusual appearance is due to the fact that he is Asian.

One possible cause of Trig Van Palin’s mental retardation is incest. Another likely cause is Trig's father is Special Ed from Crank Yankers.


Trig Palin was conceived in June of 2007 when her soon to be teenage mother, Bristol Palin, got obscenely drunk at a party and decided to act on a dare from her friends. Britstol's friends dared her to have sex with a retarded chimpanzee as a joke. But to their surprise, Bristol actually went through with it. Bristol claims to have no memory of this event since it is likely she blacked out during the sexual act.


During Trig's gestation period, he fought vigorously for the rights of unborn retards. Trig lobbied very hard against abortion by pointing out all of the retarded conceptions that led to great individuals making great contributions to society. Some of these individuals include George Dubya Bush, Forrest Gump, Rosie O'Donnell, Rainman, Tom Cruise, Corky from Life Goes On, and Nancy Pelosi. As a result of Trig's efforts, he was successfully able to thwart any abortion attempts and be born into this retarded world.


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Trig Palin.

Trig Palin's birth had to be handled very carefully to ensure the survival of a retard. The doctor entered the delivery room and then said to Bristol, "OK now, let's see what going on down there." Bristol then responded in disgust to the doctor saying, "ewwe, I am not going to show you, an old man, my tight teenage muff." The doctor responded by saying, "Bristol, your muff is anything but tight" and then went on to reminded Bristol that if she does not comply, the birth may not go well and she could lose her retarded child. As soon as the doctor went to take a look, Bristol's water broke and she blew her junk all over the doctor's face. This was amusing to Bristol. After Trig's birth, the doctor was stunned and said, "What the fuck is that!" Bristol then said, "Hey, that is my retarded baby!" The doctor responded by saying, "No, I was talking about these huge red bumps all around your anus."

Moments later, Sarah Palin came storming into the delivery room insisting that she had just given birth to Trig as opposed to Bristol. The doctor was surprised and said, "Sarah, if you just gave birth and you daughter did not, then why is there this big gaping hole where Brisol's vagina used to be and your vagina is all dried up and full of cobwebs?" Sarah Palin just ignored the doctor's comments went on to claim that she gave birth to Trig.

Speech at the 2008 Republican National Convention[edit]


What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina? Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

What is the funniest thing in the world? The fact that this kid is so retarded!

Wanna hear a joke? Trig Palin!

See Also[edit]