Trinity

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Part of a series of articles on
Christianity
I am the Good Shepherd...

God
Jesus
Evil Jesus
Satan
The Apostles
Heaven and/or Hell
Great Schism
The Crusades
Reformation

The Trinity
The Father
The Son (Jesus Christ)
The Holy Spirit

The Bible
Old Testament
New Testament
Apocrypha
The Gospels
Ten Commandments

Christian theology
Fall of Man · Grace
Salvation · Justification
Christian worship
Mortal Sin

Christian Church
Roman Catholicism
The Pope
Eastern Orthodoxy
Protestantism Christian erudition
Christian denominations
Christian movements
Christian ecumenism
Christian scholastica
Christian discourses

Important Figures
Apostle Paul
Augustine · Aquinas
Wycliffe · Luther
Calvin · Trammell
· Carver


The F, the S, and the Holy M.

~ Alicia Keys on The Holy Trinity

One of the basic concepts or principles of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is composed of two Major Pastaer, Flying and Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Pastaer is irreducibly complex, and does not concern us here. The Pastaer of the Spaghetti Monster, however, can be broken down into three distinct Minor Pastaer, i.e., The Trinity:

  • The Meatera
  • The Spaghettien
  • The Saucon

The Trinity in Other Religions[edit]

Other religions have imitated this concept of Trinity in an attempt to achieve wider acceptance. However, their feeble attempts have fallen far short of Pastafarianism, and as such are perverted shadows of the one true religion.

Uncyclopedian[edit]

  • Oscar Wilde
  • Sophia
  • Chuck Norris

If you don't know which one is the Messiah and which one is the holy spirit, you don't belong on uncyclopedia.

Catholicism[edit]

While the Catholics have no equivalent of the Flying Pastaer, they do try to copy the Pastaer of the Spaghetti Monster in their version of the Trinity.

  • Daddy, which is a pale shadow of the Meatera
  • Junior, which imperfectly copies the Spaghettian
  • The Spook, the equivalent of the Saucon

Unlike the Spaghetti Monster, whose Pastaer are three separate components, which each play their own part, the Catholic Trinity has an incestuous relationship. Daddy is also Junior, who is also his own uncle, grandfather, grandmother, and half brother, and not to mention he's a zombie as well and he's also his own dog and cat. The possibility that all are one person suffering from extreme schizophrenia (as seen in the movie Fight Club) has been advanced by several reputable institutions, many of whom believe this person is in fact a homeless alcoholic named Shabbetai Zulu living in Jerusalem. This individual is famous for having puked a record number of 57 times on the Wailing Wall, and has been spotted vomiting and defecating on other religious sites across the world.

Catholic priests typically maintain a similar relationship with their altar boys, perhaps in honor of the Trinity.

Coaliton of Legend of Zelda Fans[edit]

The world was greated by the golden goddess trinity:

  • Farore: created life (So much for being creative)
  • Din: created the world (Something only it's mother could love)
  • Nayru: created justice, the laws of science, and love (A lot of good that's done us!)

And their prophet Link who is reborn every generation to kill off that Muslim named Ganondorf

The Church of World War II[edit]

Allies:[edit]

Nazis:[edit]

Commies:[edit]

This is the church that is currently being taught in history classes worldwide

  • The only religion to have a trinity of trinities!

Americanism[edit]

In Americanism, the Trinity is composed of a three-person personality disorder within the government, which manifests during a budget crisis:

Although the Eastern Orthodox Americanists consider Congress to precede the President, the Western Communion insists that the President precedes Congress. Later, protesters known as the Republicans left the Western Communion because these protesters refused to believe that the bureaucracy rather than the three governmental branches is the true source of salvation.

Many Republicans accuse the Western Communion (also known as Democrats) of polytheism by adoring cabinet officials and bureaucrats rather than the Trinity of the One True Government. These anti-bureaucracy Republicans are called Libertarians.

Matrixism[edit]

In Matrixism, Trinity is the Christian equivalent of Crazy Mary (not mother mary, that would be incest)!. The resemblance is clear: wearing black leather, skilled in martial arts and making old skool punk rock. Just like Mary, Trinity slept with our Lord and Savior Neo while everybody else was having a party in Zion. However, Neo did not become the father of Himself as a result of this pairing (or did he?)

It makes complete sense[edit]

The trinity is an obviously simple idea. God is god, jesus is god, the holy spirit is god, but jesus isn't god or the holy spirit, and the holy spirit isn't god or jesus, but obviously they're all god. Except for jesus and the holy spirit, of whom I said, are god but not god. It makes perfect bloody sense.










See Also[edit]


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