Trout Mask Replica

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Trout Mask-ish Replica That Scared The Crap Outta Me! Hell Yeah!
Trout Masque.JPG
Crap by Captain Beefheart
Released June 16, 2112
Recorded June 15, 2112
Genre Acid
Length 4:20:20
Record label Reprise Records
Producers Backstabber
Professional reviews
Oscar Wilde review 5/5 - "A tremendous effort, Beefheart shows how you can make music!"
Kurt Cobain review 10/5 - "I bought this when I was a kid and I could only sleep to that awful garbage that this beautifully made album is."
Silverchair review 4.5/5 - "Pew massacuh! Peeeeeewwwww mass-eeeeee-caaaaaaaaauhh! Anyways, this album officially made me in a straight line."
They call these worthy of being loved by Rolling Stone?
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Trout Mask Replica
(2112 BC)

'Trout Mask Replica is one of the best Code Lyoko episodes ever known to man ever since they showed that one where Charles Darwin wrote about evolution while on Jagermeister and GG Allin. It was not released to the public, but its soundtrack was released to the public after the day when they were supposed to air that doggone episode, but the f*ckin' corporation didn't want them to, so they made voice actor Oscar Wilde speak profanely on the episode, "I've been mad for f*ckin' years, absolutely years. I've been workin' me buns off, Roger."

On The Origin of Species[edit]

When Captain Beefheart was watching Code: LYOKO one day, Billy the Mountain came to him with a draft notice. Beefheart, whose real name is possibly Don Van Vliet as in Sleet, didn't like the idea of the draft, so he locked the doors and set a bomb on a bus, disguising himself as J.K. Rowling. He ate Kroger brand pork and beans for 11 months until Leonidas ran into his door and made him be on the staff of Code: LYOKO. Don reluctantly agreed, as people would ridicule him for his R&B-influenced album "Safe As Milk".

At the recording studios (actually Mike Muir's bathtub), he met Oscar Wilde, Mike Muir, Roger Waters' wife, Pink Floyd, Sharon Mann, and the f*ckin' guy/king/whore who made feudal-f*ckin'-ism. He then voiced the part of Jim Morales, a Deuce Bigalow-type character who made Aelita drink flesh-eating bacteria from "Cube Zero" and melted her into a red, liquidy mess in every bite! Buy some today! Finally, he got sick of voicing many various characters, so he got out a copy of John Q and watched it until his eyes were blind, making him the first blind saxophonist/guitarist/voice actor/senior citizen in the history of this article. He grabbed his Colt and two zigzags, baby that's all we need, and ran to the recording studios to take it over by force. He succeeded and drove the other people out except for the voice actors on Code: LYOKO. He named them Zoot Horn Rollo Chocolate Candy Now Discontinued (for Oscar), Drmubo, I Can See The Fear In Yer Windows (for Mike), The Mascara Snake, Fast and Bulbous, Tight Also (for Carolyn, who you know as Roger Waters' wife or Syd Barrett), Antennae Jimmy Serum n' Semens, Neon Meate Dream of an Octafish (for Sharon), and Radio City Rockette Morton (for Charles Martel's grandson) and forced them to come up with a lot of music.

How He Made Them Captives In Five Minutes[edit]

First, he locked all of the doors so I Think Satan Likes Your Mom can't get in and the voice actors can't get out to visit their families during Christmas. He put mirrors on his piano so he could see what his "studio musicians" were doing. If they were playing Nintendo, they would have their clothes taken off just for the edification of Don. He taught them how to play instruments how he could, in which he could not play them whatsoever. Most of the stuff he wrote is very weird sounding and stupid, according to me. He also could not write lyrics using his fingers, so he used his toes. Most of the stuff he wrote was beautiful poetry that was very cryptic and very f*ckin' funny. He even wrote about forks made by the Navy stickin' in the sunset, if I can hear him over his cacophonous band and the gruff voice of Charlemagne. He did this for eight months until they finally ran out of food and knew the whole album, all 100 songs of it.

Also, Captain Beefheart is awesome.

The Recording[edit]

On June 14, 2112, Don called up his friend Frank Zappa and told him that he had made a very professional band that could play "Stairway to Heaven" with their toes. Frank agreed and they went into the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen, a kitchen at the restaurant. The band set up their recording equipment while Frank tested with the console, recording such quotes as how could Herb Alpert redub his trumpet so many times and how could Billy the Mountain cause an "oh mein papa" in the Earth's crust, making a freak poison tornado that carried Dorothy to Oz, mate, or the Empire State because Frosties TASTE GREAT!! Frank allowed the band to record some instrumental tracks until Don and him agreed to recording the album in an ACTUAL studio.

The band ran across the street to Lacy Allen's house to record the album and made all 100 tracks in less than 15 minutes. When the band got done, Frank got to work and Don recorded some gibberish over the phone. After about a week and a half, Frank was done producing the album, sending it to Don for review. Don strapped his bandmates in for the ride on the couch and put in the CD. Out came the worst music you'll hear in yer lifetime and some of the best lyrics devoted to marriage and Hitler. He sent it to his new record label, Reprise, and they loved it. They released it and sold about 1,000,000 copies on the first day. It was receiving radio airplay and people even loved it so much that the actual album was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining) so Crow, Tom Servo, and Dave Grohl could review it scathingly and love it at the same time for its humor unlike any other movie or TV series...or album.

It still remains on the Top 5 on many artists, who commit suicide just to get the music and lyrics out of their heads, and even charted #1 on the Top 500 Albums of All Time. Limp Bizkit tried to replicate the album's success by making a vocal-only version of the album, but could only sell it to Fred Durst.

Track Listing[edit]

All songs written by D. Van Vliet, except where noted. I don't care, so shut up.

Side 1

  1. Frownland (12:43)
  2. The Dust Did Not Blow Forward, Nor Did It Blow Back, So Shut The F*ck Up! (7:19)

Side 2

  1. Dachau Blues (4:20)
  2. Ella Guru, One of the 28 Musically Good Songs Off Of This Great Use of Money (2:25)
  3. How Could Hair Be Baked Into A Pie, Part 1 (17:54)

Side 3

  1. Mooning In Vermont (24:57)
  2. I Like to Hug Puppies! (0:12)

Side 4

  1. Funny Mexican Name (1:20)
  2. Bill's Rotten Corpse (5:49)
  3. Cutting Light Bulbs (5:10)
  4. The Name of Our Harmonica Player and Violinist (15:00)

Side 5

  1. Chinese Hogwarts (10:45)
  2. My Human Gets Me Blues, The Weirdest Song In History (2:47)
  3. AAAAAA (ITSLYM) (10:13)

Side 6

  1. How Could Hair Be Baked Into A Pie, Part 2 (10:00)
  2. Jena 6 (10:00)
  3. Well...THAT'S ALL YOU COULD THINK OF? (1:00)
  4. When Obese Joan Rivers Sets Up The Microphone (3:45)

Side 7

  1. Fallin' In A F*ckin' Ditch, Breakin' My F*ckin' Legs (19:42)
  2. Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice (0:01)
  3. Aunt Jemima (4:23)

Side 8

  1. Orange Claw Hammer (25:12)
  2. Shut the Fuck Up Don [Instrumental] 2:09

Side 9

  1. Wildfire In California (1:23)
  2. She Doesn't Look Like She's Workin' In My Mirrors (4:35)
  3. I'm Being Xenophobic (4:12)
  4. Led Zeppelin (Victormousetraphurtmeinaparodyofthealbumcover) (7:00)
  5. Non-Shitty Music (0:00)
  6. Old Farters Playing With My Balls (6:01)

Side 10

  1. Bolts in Blender #6 Feat. Sounds of Anal [Zappa Sodomy Version] (extended cut) (124:47)

The Code: LYOKO Episode[edit]

The Code: LYOKO episode inspired the album, even though Captain Beefheart never saw it as he was blind, deaf, and dumb, but could play a mean pinball. The episode showed the BAMFWBF, renamed the LYOKO Gang as to sell the show into popularity, fighting XANA for one minute and giving Aelita a foot massage the next minute. Frank Zappa made an appearance as a teacher that was possessed by XANA for one minute and went back to rockin' out with his band, the Motherf*ckers of Invention! The episode was never aired due to its profanity from Odd, Ulrich, Aelita, and Frank Zappa, who performed the entire album of "Joe's Garage" on the episode. It was, however, leaked to the Internet as a parody episode that fans went ga-ga all over. They became instant Frank Zappa fans, but bought this worthless piece of trash they call music.

The episode, however, could be synced to "Dark Side of the Moon", but that was worthless, considering that the album "Trout Mask Replica" does not sync with it properly, making the band cut down the record to 72 minutes, omitting all of the guitar solos that Captain Beefheart performed on his top hat of magic and all of the drum solos Drumbo made while sleeping. However, Daniel Johns and Phil Jamieson of Australia were sent copies of the quintuple album on LP and CD and were very pleased with Don, as they liked the cacophony, the lyrics, and the many guitar solos, causing them to change their styles and be disliked by their fanbase now for their new albums, which are just for pop music lovers only.

External Links[edit]

The album's official website; tells why Don is down with the sickness and really doesn't like Disturbed

The band's official website and the show's critical fansite