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The London Underground: how the TFL tube map might look to someone on LSD

Not to be confused with the Internet

The Tube is a miniature underground railway connecting the London Underground with the London Underground, back to london, then to the London Overground then finally returning home to find that "Those Damned tickets were on the fucking table the whole time! AGH! Next to the keys... Why?" Before Setting out again, only to discover that one week has passed. TheTube was awarded an award for "best insanity inducer in foreign nationals" seven years on the trot, only to be beaten by Ikea in 2007.

Oyster card: 2 world wars and 1 world cup, think about it kraut.

Mainline on the Bus[edit]

After addicts of the drug Botox were found to be shooting up in front of kids and grannies on London buses, mayor Rudi Giuliani famously decided the he would "do something about it". Next he sat breathing as loudly as possible for about six minutes.... Al Gore decided that wasn't enough, so a dropkick to the face was ordered, after a tab of acid all round, tiny radioactive scorpions were released everywhere.

Gut reaction[edit]

Winning the London wide wurst eating contest that had clinched his rule over London and it's outlyinging villages (New York, Purley and Scotland) had left Gulliani's digestive tract bunged for life. This is unrelated to the tube.

A Long Vagration[edit]

In order to channel social undesirables into the London Underground without having to send them all the way to Wimbledon Common, a giant 'toilet style' tube was built called the Waterloo line. In order to flush out the seemier element of London Town, the little blighters were given Oyster cards which allowed them to access the 'Tube' from the 'Choob'.

See also[edit]