Tuscan Raiders

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The Tuscan Raiders were a notorious football team of the third century B.C., famed for winning the Rose Bowl a record 7 times in the franchise's 200 hundred year history. Noted for their brutal defense and occasional use of blunt instruments, they became the only team, prior to the advent of the Roman empire, to employ wild donkeys as part of their line. So feared by their opponents that on one occasion, the opposing team committed mass suicide rather than face them, they were eventually banned from the NFL for failure to wear clothing. The Raider's mascot, an oak tree, served to motivate their home town crowds, enthralling them with its dancing and singing routines. The team motto "By death we conquer, then to breakfast," eventually became the national anthem of Texas.