From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Charlie Brown — A little love.jpg Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg This article needs love Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love.
Please give some love by rewriting it.

[[File:Two-face.jpg| thumb| right| He could look a lot worse... He could look like Miley cyrus Two-Face is the reason why super villains should only have one secret identity. Two-Face is a crime lord who thinks he owns the town, and then he also thinks that he is a loser. Two-face is one of Batman's most annoying enemies, because he keeps bickering with himself about what to do. Two-Face actually is two people in one body, leading to many problems when it comes to the dominant being.

One of the people within Two-Face is a master criminal and the other is a kind hearted man who hates doing bad things (really bad combo). Because they are two completely different people, they spend about twenty three hours a day bickering with each other about what to do (leaving only a single hour to actually do it). They also face a major problem as they both share the same tongue (and they both hate each other's taste in food). Two-Face is easily distinguishable due to half of his face being acid burned and the other being a dream guy. The dream guy half is evil person within Two-Face (because girls dream of bad ass boyfriends) and the ugly half is the good half of Two-Face (because he takes all the blows of the bad half). The only single thing that the two halves can agree on is that their lives officially suck (possibly better than batman's though)


Harvey's transformation process.
The Crime Lord's face.

Two-Face was originally an African American district-attorney named Harvey Dent, who helped Micheal Keaton after Jack Nicholson fell in a vat a chemicals and went insane. After Nicholson fell off a church building, Harvey decided to inspect the chemicals that bleached Nicholson's skin (and turned his hair green and lips red for some reason). Harvey was inspecting the place, but he slipped on the wet floor because the janitor did not put up a sign. Harvey fell into the chemicals and like Nicholson had his skin bleached. When he crawled out he discovered the horrifying result, HE WAS NOW A WHITE MAN!!

At the same time across town, an a evil crime lord was inspecting a brand new fusion cannon. His scientist told him that after exposure, an object would fuse with the first thing that it made contact with (he spoke from experience). So the crime lord decided to use this machine to fuse with the capitol, thus he would control the world as a living breathing capitol. He initiated his master plan and exposed to the cannon's power. He then walked out the door and head for the capitol. Meanwhile Harvey had just finished going through the process of getting a new drivers license and had all of his campaigning pictures changed to match his new face. He then left and headed for home, whistling a familiar tune from Tim Burton's Batman. Harvey was so busy whistling that he failed to notice the crime lord coming right at him. The criminal then slammed into Harvey and thus the two joined together into one person (causing Harvey's head to expand slightly due to it now containing two brains).

Adjustment to Being Merged Together[edit]

Though they were now merged together, they both still held there own individual thoughts and thus started to bicker. A nearby police man spotted the two bickering and believed that Harvey was now officially insane and attempted to take him in. Though Harvey agreed, the crime lord did not and ran for his life, causing the police to give chase. Eventually, Harvey and the crime lord managed to escape and then found the scientist who started this mess. However when they got there, they discovered that he had gone on vacation (or fled town). Then a lot more bickering followed. After about four whole hours of bickering, the two finally calmed down and started to talk about what to do next. Harvey wanted to go home and forget about this day, but the crime lord wanted to commit crimes (more bickering followed). Eventually they struck a deal about what to do, they would...flip a [[coin]. However this caused even more bickering as neither one of them could decide who should flip it (since they both controlled a hand). Finally after fighting for seven hours, they put it on a spring and flipped it (but then it fell into a small crack). There was only room for one eye to see the result, and so more bickering went on for twelve more hours.

Harvey and the Crime Lord (left) Harvey and the Crime Lord after the beatings (right)

Eventually they concluded that the result was tails and decided to commit a crime (since Harvey is an honest man and the crime lord is optimist). So they then decided to rob the same chemical plant where Harvey had his accident and turned white. However, it turned out that Batman had been inspecting there and spotted Harvey, simply asking him what he was doing here. Harvey said that they were robbing the place, but the crime lord said he was lying, to which yet even more bickering broke out. Batman then quickly captured Harvey and sent to Arkham because he thought he was mentally insane. While in Arkham, the crime lord decided to cheat fellow inmates out of their money, and so they attacked him.

However it was Harvey who took the blows (because the crime lord kept spinning him in the direction the fists were coming in). After so many hits, Harvey was badly bruised and deformed (and started to suffer from short term memory loss). Harvey and the crime lord both actually agreed that they needed a new name for themselves, one that was easier to remember than "Harvey Dent and the Crime Lord". So after much more bickering, they came up with the name Two-Face (a name which filled all the inmates with laughter).

Type of crimes[edit]

Two-Face eventually got out of Arkham(Although it is recorded that he ate several patients in there)due to the fact that he had a really, really good lawyer (known as himself). Since his release, he has always committed crimes involving twos (meaning if there is five thousand dollars in a bank he will only take two thousand). Two-Face does still bicker with himself, but he usually resolves a lot of bickering cases by flipping his coin (or punching out one of his halves). Two-Face is usually drawn into doing a crime because Harvey Dent suffers from immense brain damage due to so much punching, that he doesn't realize that the coin is double sided (which explains why the crime lord always picks heads). Often times Two-Face loses this double sided coin because he is not very good at flipping with his left hand (and his right hand is all deformed and lumpy). So Two-Face usually has a habit of stealing more coins from the joke shop (where he sometimes fights the Joker for them). Two-Face runs into Batman a couple of times, and since he is not very good at hand to hand combat, is often captured easily.

What's going on now?[edit]

Well, Two-Face's evil half apparently kicked the bucket from drinking too much, as a result Harvey is now taking therapy. He also is a clothes designer designing weird and tacky clothes (that he wears himself).Also his ending lend

See also[edit]

  • Batman
  • One Face
  • Three face
  • Pi Face (Originally 3.14 face)
  • Over 9000! Face
  • 300 face (Defenatly a Spartan I bet)
  • 0 Face
  • 2 Feces
  • Two-Face-One-Cup
  • 2-Ass
  • Doug Kling