Tykes

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The largest of the Tribes of Britain, Tykes are natives of Yorkshire, which makes up 96% of England. Although commonly considered by outsiders to be sullen, morose, humourless and insular, Tykes are in fact sullen, morose, humourless, insular, tight and bloody-minded.

Geographical Range[edit]

Mainly Yorkshire, which they call God’s Own Earth. For this reason it is vital to keep Australians and Tykes apart, unless you are fond of vicious, cricket-themed mayhem. Tykes are found from the many-spired, cultural haven of Barnsley to the sun-kissed shores of tropical Cleethorpes, from millionaire’s playground, Hull, to charming, Olde Worlde Bradford, including popular holiday destinations like, Sheffield and Huddersfield. Tykes are well-known traveller’s and explorers (see below), and can often be found complaining in far-flung parts of the world, like Nottingham, or the BBC. They are occasionally found down south, but can’t abide the place, given the prices and the fact that they can’t make decent beer, tea, black pudding or dripping.

Diet[edit]

  • Yorkshire Tea
  • Yorkshire Ale
  • Black pudding
  • Dripping
  • Butties (a type of sandwich made of beer, tea, black pudding and dripping, usually served with ale)
  • Offal
  • Chips; the best chips in the world are found in Yorkshire and the best fish and chips in Scunthorpe

Famous Tykes that weren’t Explorers[edit]

Note: Sean Bean accounts for 57% of all Tykes.

Famous Tyke Explorers[edit]

Despite the fact that Yorkshire is the best place on Earth, Yorkshire has produced several notable explorers. It is believed that these great travellers were looking for new lands to scorn, and new people to tell that they can't produce decent beer. The following list is by no means complete:

1Not terribly famous, as he only discovered Milton Keynes, and most people wish he hadn’t

Pastimes[edit]

  • Losing at cricket
  • Losing at football
  • Complaining
  • Failing to spend money
  • Boasting about Yorkshire
  • Inexplicably mourning the loss of Middlesbrough
  • Cheesemaking
  • Ale making and drinking
  • Travelling down hill in baths on wheels