U.S. Senator

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A U.S. Senator is an elected citizen of the United States of America who takes part in gladitorial battles on behalf of his/her constituents. Each Monday Night a television show is broadcast called U.S. Senators Unleashed Xtreme, in which selected Senators do battle. Collectivity the U.S. Senators are known as the U.S. Senate although they can be divided into two main groups: The Korlaks who are followers of famous Senator 50 Cent, and the Nebuheezers who are also followers of 50 Cent but aren't so much into him as the other guys.

How a bill becomes a law[edit]

When a new bill is put before the U.S. Senate a Senator must step forward and declare himself to be the champion of the bill. He/she performs a traditional war dance and announces what weapons he/she will use in defense of the bill. If there are no objections to the bill, it is presumed too uninteresting to become a law, is burned in the Fire of Tunaas and it's champion is executed by submersion in a tub of leeches. If the bill is contested a warrior steps forward, performs a similar war dance and chooses a weapon to fight the champion. Whether the bill becomes law or not depends on which Senator survives the combat. Because of the method of debate, a U.S. Senator's average term of office is two weeks. Most debates (upwards of 80%) end in draws with both Senator's being dead, in which case the bill is declared void and is never to be spoken of again.

Senatorial Weapons[edit]

  • Kite with steel kite string
  • Umbrella that could have your eye out
  • Plastic Bag (The smotherator)
  • Tennis racket with no strings
  • Tennis racket strings
  • Traffic cone full of flammable liquid
  • Traffic cone full of unidentified yellow liquid