U for Uncyclopedia

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U himself.



In early 2004, the rising popularity of the internet encyclopedia Uncyclopedia led to its translation into a film. The online community was outraged once the Wachowski Brothers, recently responsible for the travesty The Matrix Revolutions and the murder of the Lebanese prime minister, were announced as the directors of the project, tentatively titled "U". However, once it was revealed that they would remain faithful to their source material, the knowledge rapidly flowed through the Internet's tubes until every man, woman, and child was simply stoked over its release.


During the period from its announcement to its completion, U for Uncyclopedia grew to gargantuan proportions. Viral videos mocking the ridiculous name soon became prevalent, several of which rising to the highest ranks on YouTube and Google Video. Realizing its potential, the Wachowski Brothers sold the advertising license to CafePress, allowing fans from around the globe to make their own tee shirts broadcasting to the world their poorly-drawn cartoons based on the movie. When Samuel L. Jackson was revealed to be the voice behind U, the movie's now-enormous fanbase went bananas. Parodying his classic bad-ass characters, fans soon made videos mocking the movie, one of which included the infamous line "I'm tired of these motherfucking fascists in this motherfucking Britain".


Finally, its release was nigh. Two weeks before it was released, fans began to line up in droves outside the theaters, pre-ordering tickets far in advance. Eventually, large theater chains had to shut down their pre-order departments. Prices for the tickets skyrocketed on internet auction sites such as eBay. One ticket sold for over $9,000 to a slightly insane billionaire hermit who went by the cryptic pseudonym "Kennedy". Of course, by the time the movie was finally unleashed on the masses, ticket prices plummeted as theaters added extra showings, causing mass rioting and over three hundred casualties.


The film opens with a pothead surfer being wasted by a mob boss. Then, the mob boss gets capped by a pimp. The pimp soon falls to a rogue samurai, who takes a bullet from an angry terrorist from the future. For some reason, the majority of the film remained unfinished, but by that time nobody really cared. Richard Williams, the infamous Disney animator, had considered it his magnum opus. However, the movie V for Vendetta was released simultaneously and included some actual footage from U for Uncyclopedia. It was re-voiced by Mexican immigrants with very heavy accents and went to DVD three months after its failure in the theaters. Subsequent versions have been faithfully recreated by its cult followers, but for the large part it fell into obscurity.


“Think not of how you can fear your government, but how your government can fear you.”

~ U on The Bush Administration

U, the overly verbose and ultra-violent star of U for Uncyclopedia has recently surfaced as an Internet icon on the scale of Longcat and Phoenix Wright. Appearing in many poorly-done parodies including this one, he continues to represent the epitome of all that could have been. U is dapper, suave, and slightly deranged. During the course of the half hour movie, he develops his own strange variation of English by including some bizarre phrases from his native tongue such as "trousers" instead of "pants" and "biscuits" instead of cookies. Only the viewers who concentrate intensely can even grasp the basic idea of what he's saying while the majority of his intelligent speeches go right over the average person's head. This caused him to be well-received into the hall of movie heroes by high-and-mighty critics who pretend to be smarter than they actually are.

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