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The spectrum used by experts to classify violent films

Ultra-Violence (or UV) forms part of the film classification spectrum, which is a method used by experts to classify films in a spectrum and may be considered analogous to the electromagnetic spectrum - except it is real scientific fact and not merely Communist propaganda. Ultra-violence films tend to come in two types, known as Near Ultra-Violence and Extreme Ultraviolence - the former of these is widely thought of as pathetic and for losers who can't stand the sight of blood, and among film makers is considered a failure.

Ponys in particularly ultra-violent colors.

Extreme Ultra-violence[edit]

Extreme Vltra-Violence was invented in 1953, and used to be younger. Its rays have been found to emanate from the work of notable violent and/or horror-based film directors; notable among these pioneers are Quentin Tarantino, Rob Zombie and the Queen. To protect against the rays, many shops sell protective hats lined with leather, similar to those worn by mobile phone users. Prolonged exposure to the rays is known to be very harmful, and may lead to the exposee killing and murdering in violent or unorthodox ways and then trying to get away with it by blaming it on the radiation received. are being driven into the ground economically, with one million schoolMany American religious groups and concerned parents, therefore, love nothing better than to burn any films more violent than Bambi and dance around fully clothed in what is little more than a Pagan ritual. Others, less fortunate are being driven into the ground economically, with one million school children now homeless, while Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke announces that the recession is over. Also referred to in certain square circles off to the right as: Hell with the lid off!

History of Ultra-Violence[edit]

Many people have a history of violence, but only a select few have a history of Ultra-Violence; these include God, and Mr T. So hush yo' jibba-jabba.