# Umpteen

**Umpteen** has typically been defined as the exact number of ways to skin a cat. This is in contrast to the common misconception being that there is only one. In actual fact, there are exactly umpteen very similar yet subtly different ways to perform said activity, and a trained expert is able to notice the differences in technique at any point in the procedure.

Umpteen is also the age that a boy officially becomes a man, in a ceremony known as **umping**.

Umpteen is an optional number to be found between the number 15 and 16.

## Etymology[edit]

Umpteen is so called because it is ten plus ump. Ump was defined as umpteen minus ten by the Pythagoreans.

## Umpteen in maths[edit]

Umpteen is generally ignored in maths because there is no button for it on the calculator. It's a chicken-and-egg situation, because if somebody brings a calculator out with the number ump on it, no one will buy it, because it is not used in maths because nobody has brought out a calculator with the number ump on it, because no one will buy it, because it is not used in maths because nobody has brought out a calculator with the number ump on it, because no one will buy it, because it is not used in maths because nobody has brought out a calculator with the number ump on it, because no one will buy it, because it is not used in maths because nobody has brought out a calculator with the number ump on it, because no one will buy it, because it is not used in maths, be

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## Umpteen (Or less of)[edit]

You can't halve umpteen. To have half of umpteen, you would be splitting an atom. Not one of those cool atoms, like, the ones that are glowing green, but a real atom. Which is really hard.