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Some news is so bloated it needs its own page.

Driving dogs scare New Zealand's cat population14:52, 13 December 2012
Squid sexually assaults South Korean diner06:36, 3 October 2012
Arizona Sheriff and Steven Seagal End American Leg of British Punk Band's Tour06:22, 3 October 2012
France faces fines over hamster sexploitation05:17, 6 September 2012
Shambo the Sacred Bull must Perform, Court Rules08:59, 5 June 2012
Paul the Octopus considers offer from Uncyclopedia08:53, 5 June 2012
Russia's communist resistance sends bear army to retake Romania, four US tourists left dead08:51, 5 June 2012
Massacre at Brookfield Zoo08:31, 5 June 2012
New York inches closer to legalizing interspecies marriage08:28, 5 June 2012
Obama cites animal rights for Libya move08:28, 5 June 2012
Nature Now Rated NC-1708:28, 5 June 2012
New jellyfish discovered, public unimpressed08:28, 5 June 2012
Knut sends message to all other cute bears: SCREW OFF!08:15, 5 June 2012
FBI suspects PETA behind string of strange robberies08:06, 5 June 2012
Australian Prime Minister and Opposition leader revealed to be part elephant!07:40, 5 June 2012
Australia to send Crocodile Dundee and Skippy to Afghanistan07:39, 5 June 2012
Animals the size of tanks spotted in large cities07:39, 5 June 2012
Cat burglars arrested07:36, 5 June 2012
Terror zoo Guaobamamo07:28, 5 June 2012
World's Smallest Snake Found07:27, 5 June 2012
T-Mobile Comes Under Fire for Promoting Animal Abuse07:16, 5 June 2012
The Orange Beast opens transuniversal portal to destroy humankind, but Jesus and Santa save the day07:13, 5 June 2012
Puffins being spied on by MI606:51, 5 June 2012
Political extremism on the rise in animal world06:48, 5 June 2012
Living creatures found to be bad for other living creatures06:27, 5 June 2012
Latest evil genius holds Earth to ransom06:18, 5 June 2012
Horse bites off man's testicle06:08, 5 June 2012
I Am Built Like a 'Horse' Claims Italian Prime Minister06:08, 5 June 2012
New Vince McMahon venture, Ultimate Mutant Fighting06:05, 5 June 2012
Connecticut governor passes law requiring deer to use crosswalks05:49, 5 June 2012
J.P. Morgan CEO goes hunting, world's most expensive bear gets killed05:36, 5 June 2012
Evolving cows confuse Farmers05:30, 5 June 2012
Euthanized puppy resurrects, pissed off05:27, 5 June 2012
Tiger really didn't rape anybody04:54, 5 June 2012
Shy Cow Disease outbreak feared.04:45, 5 June 2012
Petting Zoos to be converted to abuse-themed "Punching Zoos"04:22, 5 June 2012
Paramount and Sea World announce remake of horror film, "Orca"04:18, 5 June 2012
Military uses for evil cloning technology?03:36, 5 June 2012
Japanese scientists resurrect tiger tyrant, anarchy ensues01:10, 5 June 2012
Indian man marries dog01:07, 5 June 2012

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