UnNews:Cats support Trump presidency bid

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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

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A clear Trump supporter.

Cats around the world are taking part in a social campaign to demonstrate their support for Donald Trump's presidential candidacy.

                                                                                                                                       Cats, which are regularly identified by social media experts as one of the most powerful and influential groups online, have taken to uploading photos with their brushed-out fur teased into the style of Trump's infamous hairdo. 

Trump has long had strong support in the feline world. Both he and the average pussy are extremely wary of Asians, although for different reasons (he worries about China's effect on the US economy, while cats largely believe the stereotype that one wrong move and they will end up in the chow mein). More recently, Trump's vitriolic attack on Mexicans, who he claimed were bringing "drugs, crime and rapists to the USA" also went down well with cats in the key 0-20 age group.

"What he said was absolutely true," said Tibbles, a four-year-old orange tabby from Cleveland, Ohio. "There's a Mexican in my neighborhood who has made my life a misery since he moved in - urinating in the street, screeching at the locals in his incomprehensible language - and the sooner he is exterminated the better.

"Goddamn Chihuahua."


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Older cats such as Jinx (left), an eighteen-year-old sphynx, are particularly likely to support Trump. Jinx told UnNews: "Like Mr Trump, I regard myself as a rugged individualist, although it obviously helps if you start life with an owner who feeds you and cleans out your shit-tray, as in my case, or with a father who is a millionaire property magnate, as in his.

"Wait, did I say that the right way around?"

He added: "I also sympathize with the abuse he receives about his appearance, as many have questioned the veracity of my hairdo over the years, too."

While uploads online show a fairly wide variety in cat breeds that support Trump, critics have noticed that the vast majority are "light-furred" and that black cats are conspicuous by their absence.

Kiki (right), a six-year-old from South Carolina who has won many plaudits for the beauty of his Trump-do, wrote on his Twitter page: "I am sorry, if a black cat tries to do this I just think it looks wrong. It looks like he is trying to be something he is not."

The post was re-tweeted several hundred times, with a number of cats making racially derogatory remarks, linking black cats with bad luck and witchcraft, and suggesting they had a disproportionate fondness for fried chicken compared to other cats.