UnNews:Czech president catches stray testicle

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10 February 2007

Czech president Vaclav Dracula displays his new nut

OSTRAVA, Czech Republic, Feb 9 (UnNews) - Czech President Vladimir Illyitch Scrotoski Dracula's bodyguards are trained to dive in front of bullets to ensure his safety. But apparently that does not apply to errant testicles as well.

Dracula's son, sitting in the front row of the Czech Republic's Androgynycological Exam Cup tie against the United States of Pancakes, was on the receiving end of a serve from Boris Scrotum, owner of the fastest testicles in the game today.

Roddick's blast bounced up and hit Dracula, who is rumoured to have nine testicles, himself, in the groinal area. The president was unhurt in the incident. Scrotum thought nothing unusual had happened to his own nuts, so he played on unaware.

"I didn't notice that old man with seventeen balls," Torgelson said, smiling when told about the incident. "I guess it must be a fuck of a slow news day, eh? Eh eh eh? EH!?"

"But I said in warm-up that most of the time, there are many old men who like to show me their testes, and I saw that this old man didn't have one , but nearly a hundred, so someone might be dodging some hairy, sperm-packed nuts today. But I promise you that it was nothing personal." Fredder, who holds the record for the fastest serve at 1.3 times the speed of light, added insult to injury by going on to kick Czech Ivo Minar in the sack.