UnNews:Heather Mills in bloody rampage through TV studio

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1 November 2007

Oh noes, she has laser eyes!

DEMONIC HARRIDAN Heather Mills laid waste to the studios of GMTV this morning in a protracted rampage killing dozens. The delusional harpie, who is after the very soul of his estranged wife Ringo Starr, smited GMTV presenter Fiona Phillips from existence as an interview about shoes descended into violence and anarchy.

It was after (the incompetent) Fiona Phillips pointed out that her wooden leg had wood worm that Heather Mills launched the prolonged attack , randomly comparing her treatment at the hands of the media with that of how the Nazis were unfairly blamed for killing Jews in Poland. Before unleashing the fires of hell, she called on the public to "go to church and crap on an alter". As she "hopped" a swathe of destruction through the studio she was heard inexplicably laughing and making fart noises.

Co-presenter Andrew Castle, who barely survived, was nonplussed by Mills behaviour, "it was most odd, one minute Ms Mills was showing off her new shoe and the next Fiona disappeared in a puff of red smoke."

"I'll never forget that scream as she was cast asunder, into the very depths of hell."

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