UnNews:Italy fucks Google, Internet voyeurs find new kink

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25 February 2010


Folli Città, Italy -- A Google Threesome was laid to blame for breaking Italian law by allowing a non-porn containing video to be posted online for a brief period. The media reports that an artistic student who was feeling down was bullied by some chums in school; or something.

"It's outrageous," claims some random uninformed person, "if cyber-bullying is not allowed we may soon see free artistic nudity removed as well."

Google is searching for justice this week.

"I don't know how they will bare it," snickered some American teen during their current events report. "Those boneheaded boot pansies in Italicy(sic) sure have things muffed-up over there."

The Italian government may throw the naughty Google execs behind prison bars soon if Google's repeal is rejected. Although the lawsuit will not put Google in arrears, the financial drain on the bottom line of their assets could cause them to simply pull out of offering its services in Italy altogether. "If we can't come to some sort of agreement we're finished," claimed Google President of Products Larry Page.

As an issue of Free speech and obvious perversion of justice Google's lawyers have clammed up to insure their legal coverage is faultless. Google's Deputy General Counsel Matt Sucherman mumbled, "Common sense dictates that only the person who films and uploads a video to a hosting platform could take the steps necessary to protect the privacy and obtain the consent of the people they are filming." He went on to say, "To be able to find and remove all offensive material would take an incredible amount of luck."

When queried on the subject Wednesday, Google put forth results that a ruling against its top executives in Italy attacks the "principles of freedom" of the Internet and poses a serious threat to the Web. Apparently, until the judge bangs the gavel at the completion of the trial it seems we will have to wait for the courts to battle it out for the future of Google to be revealed.


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