UnNews:Jediist accuses local store of discrimination

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29 December 2009

Followers of Jediism are outraged at Tesco for their religious discrimination.

CARDIFF, Wales -- A Welsh Jediist has accused the local Tesco shop of religious discrimination, after the store employees asked him to remove his hood. The man, who preferred to be called by his nickname "Anakin," called this "A blatant show of disrespect for different cultures." He stated that the store employees harassed and embarrassed him at the store because of his beliefs. "The Jedi doctrination clearly say that I should wear a hood." says an angry Anakin.

The store retaliated, pointing out that the three best-known Jedis in the Star Wars movies; Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Luke Skywalker, all appeared in public without their hoods. The religion's 500,000 members denounced this as blasphemy and some even considered boycotting the chain. "We will not put up with this discrimination!" said Biggs, a longtime Jedi master at the Cardiff Jediist Church.

In a recounting of what happened, Anakin said that he'd gone to the Tesco shop to buy a quick snack during his lunch break when the staff approached him and ordered him to the counter. They demanded that he remove his hood or leave the store.

"They said, 'Take it off,' and I said, 'No, it's part of my religion. I have a right to wear it.' Then I gave them a Jedi Church business card."

"They were very rude about it, [because] they were laughing at me and calling me mean names. It was very unsatisfactory service to say the least," elaborates Anakin.

Some have criticized the Jedi Church, including Ray Wahooloo, an American tourist from California who said, "Dude, these retards [sic] are hella trippin' [sic]."

Another longtime critic of Jediism, Mike Ayson, publisher of The Jedi Delusion released a statement saying, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood. So why do these people feel that they must wear a hood in public? All evidence suggests that it is a ridiculous claim, at best."

George Lucas was not available for comment.