UnNews:PM defiant: "We shall fight them in the cinemas!"
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-minute misinformation.
2 March 2006
FIRST THERE was the faceful of boyish good looks and the drinking of tea; then there was the repeated impregnation of his wife. Now it looks like Tory leader David Cameron is set to mimic PM Tony Blair once again - on the silver screen!
And ageing Tony ("Labour party") Blair is calling foul play on young tinker Dave ("Blank CV") Cameron, accusing him of hitting below the belt - and striking the PM square in the Box Office! The row begins just days before next week's return of Cameron to the House of Commons; and this time, it would seem, he intends to make it personal!
Fresh from another fortnight of reproductive fecundity - from which pundits expect at least another eight offspring to the Cameron herd - Tory Dave will take to the Commons floor AND the red carpet in the same night. One Commons official quipped: "He's going to experience what it's like to be "premiered" even before he wins the next general election!" A bad joke, maybe, but it still rings true as Cameron's first feature film in a lead role - "The Politician" - is previewed in London's bustling Leicester Square.
In the film, Cameron takes the role of Cameron Davies, a caring, responsible politician with super-human intelligence. Davies finds himself in charge of the Asbowes - a household of unruly truant kids - after one of his own policies sees their single mother imprisoned for her childrens' misdemeanors. Compassionate to the last, Cameron decides to take care of the children himself in his plush country estate in the Cotswolds. Despite their playing up - and several hilarious set pieces - Cameron manages to win them over and looks on proudly as young tearaway Dre Asbowe graduates as a Merchant banker.
But Blair, and many voices within the film press, have noticed similarities between Cameron's debut and that of the PM himself, 1997's "Mr Nanny State". In the film, Blair stars as Anthony Newman, a dashing and exciting politician with super-human intelligence. Newman finds himself in charge of the Tenements - a household of poverty-stricken kids - after one of his own stealth taxes financially ruins their low-earning mum and forces her to sell her children to the state. Charismatic to the last, Anthony decides to take care of the children himself in his stylish Notting Hill loft space. Despite their reluctance to join in with the London Latte set - and numerous side-splitting set pieces - Newman wins them over and looks on proudly as working class Kevin Tenement gets his first job as the head of a major media network.
Cameron though, defends his choice of role. "I don't see why there should be a disagreement over this. In the past, Tony made some great performances and we all benefited from that. If you look at the films there may be similarities, but that is only because they are both good films. It would be childish of me to make a movie completely the opposite of Tony's just for the sake of being contradictory. And I'm sure the audience will see the benefits of my new film too - techniques have moved on and if you play the two films next to each other, you will see just how washed out Blair's film looks nowadays."
The Politician opens next Friday.