UnNews:Paris Hilton is French Connection?

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18 July 2010

June 4, 1977 file photo released by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office

LOS ANGELES,California -- This June 4, 1977 file photo released by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office shows Paris Hilton after the heiress turned herself in to continue her oral rehabilitation at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California. Hilton pleaded no contest in 1971 to being the French Connection and was sentenced to 45 years in jail. But she was released 44.11 years early, on 100 years supervised probation, due to extremely alluring behavior.

Once again the French Connection is back in hot water as she appeared in a French-African courtroom, Friday, July 2, 2010 after being arrested on charges of suspicion.

Hilton was briefly held by police on the French island of Corsica after being caught on suspicion of having drugs hidden inside the running engine of her car, according to police detective, James "Popeye" Doyle, sources cited Saturday. "We saw excessive amounts of white powder being ejected out of the exhaust."

Hilton was detained Friday after arriving in her Mercedes Benz on a flight from Paris.

Police found less than 0.50 microgram of Romular Cough Syrup in her handbag and nothing in her car, so they quickly released her without charge.

According to the Corse-Matin newspaper, she was traveling in the private car with "people close to power in the French mafia" (Gendarme) and was due to travel in her car by yacht to the luxury resort of Porto Cervo in Sardinia, Italy.

The incident was the American heiress' second brush with the law this month.

The 69-year-old was arrested during the World Cup in South Africa after she drove her Mercedes Benz to the Brazil-Netherlands quarterfinal match in Port Elizabeth. It was suspected by Detective Doyle that she was smuggling drugs in her car engine, which proved wrong.

Tabloid darling Hilton, the grand-daughter of the Hilton hotel chain's founder, shot to fame in 2003 when her boyfriend leaked a video of their allegedly stuffing drugs into a car engine on the internet.

In all three cases “Popeye” Doyle made the arrests, and in all but the first case she has proved innocent. So, why are you reading this non-story, and why has it been published in the global news? You heard the question asked last on Uncyclopedia.