UnNews:Unemployment hits the weirdo sector especially hard

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3 February 2010

This weird guy has 8 kids to support, and no prospects under the Obama administration

KINGSTON TRIO, South Carolina -- The Government Accountability Office (GAO), the audit, evaluation, and investigative arm of the United States Congress, has released the summary of its report on unemployment as it affects the weirdo sector of the American population.

According to its authors, "while the general state of unemployment in this country is critical at ten to thirteen percent, weirdos are by far the hardest hit sector. This is across the board. A Tourette's-affected, Nazi chubby-chaser has as good a chance finding work as your neighbor with that who talks to his dog in the Elven tongue."

This state of affairs has proven problematic for borderline strange people like registered Uncyclopedia users. Entire extended families have been affected by the current state of the economy. The depressed and deranged are increasingly reaching out to such crap as religion and [Adult Swim] for answers to their questions. We at UnNews recommend that you all hide until this blows over.