UnNews:Vatican's daily newspaper admits that Santa Claus is bigger than Jesus Christ

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

24 November 2008

VATICAN CITY - Yesterday, the Vatican's daily newspaper, "The Daily Pope", marked the 40th anniversary of The White and Red Album by admitting that Santa Claus was in fact, bigger than Jesus Christ.

Mr. Claus's comments caused shock as Christians around the world burned all of their Christmas presents and murdered all of those poor little Elves who Santa forces to make toys for him. "Ho Ho Ho, all these cookies have made me bigger than Jesus," was the comment that recieved a global audience.

"It is a phrase that provided great indignation at the time, but which sounds today like a quip from an old man in the North Pole overcome with great obesity," the newspaper wrote. "the real talent of Santa ," It said, "Rested in his unequalled capacity to spread jolly around the land." "Today," it lamented, "presents seem above all to be cheap, plastic, made in China and sure to break a week after you buy it, falling well short of the durability of Santa's presents."

Sources[edit]

  • ummm... that guy "[www.thisisafakedomainname.com hello]". yes., SATAN 66, 6666