Uncychlamydia is a fatal, often humourous, disease contracted by overexposure to facts. It is mainly responsible for guaranteeing the survival of stupidity, as well as George Bush being elected. Twice. It presents most commonly as a series of rashes behind the ears and twixt the toes, though more serious symptoms, such as the wearing of polyester pant suits have been known to occur in extreme cases. Over a period of several months the rashes will become coconuts that develop microscopic razor-toenails. On realizing their betrayal, the coconuts will turn against their host and turn him or her into a fine salad. Caeser is typical.
Uncychlamydia was first recognized in 1897, when a group of students went into the countryside to find the secret resting grounds of Chuck Norris. When they arrived home from the expedition they brought with them a great repository of knowledge, contained within a book known only as the "Necronomichucknicon." The influx of facts into the general populace resulted in the Great Fact Plague of 1898. The horrific progress of the plague was later used as the plot in the popular video game, Street Fighter II, which was released for the Cardboard Boc console system.
In any case, the Plague raged for weeks, claiming many lives, until the valiant efforts of Henry Ford and his team of super-doctors crushed the contagious victims using the first Model T (an effeminate version of Mr. T prone to jumping onto catwalks). Unfortunately, the plague had resulted in the death of society's most intelligent and began the devolution of the human race. The after effects of which can still be seen today, as proved by the existence of emos.
STAY OUT OF THE POOL, IT HAS AIDS!
For mild cases reduce patient's exposure to facts of any kind, even if they're fucking hilarious.. For emergency treatment apply massive stupidty directly to the frontal cortex, or visit /b/ in low dosages.
Do not under any circumstances attempt to clip the coconut's toenails. This will only earn you their eternal enmity, and after disposing of the host they will probably come for you, rip out your rib cage through your ears, vomit into your nasal cavity, castrate you, devour your soul, and tease you because you wear glasses. This occurs in 99.8% of cases.
However, in the other 0.2% of cases they rip out your rib cage through your vomit, practice the trombone, castrate your ears, and glass you because you're a tease.
While neither seem appealing, the latter allows you to enjoy some first class blues in your dying moments, as coconuts are natural prodigies with the trombone.