Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 16

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

February 16: Abolition of Human Rights Day (South Africa), International "That's what she said!" Day

  • 1792 - Frenchmen celebrate new Rights of Man by beheading people they disagree with.
  • 1861 - American Civil War begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated.
  • 1917 - The Russian Revolution begins in Soviet Russia.
  • 1924 - Human Rights abolish Soviet Russia.
  • 1937 - Wallace H. Carothers receives an enema after realizing that a thick thread of nylon was not a substitute for a dick.
  • 1949 - Nineteen Eighty-Four published. It was a book written to commemorate the upcoming first year of the alienation of human rights.
  • 1968 - The endless war ends.
  • 1985 - Nineteen Eighty-Four is "unofficially" taken out of circulation. This move was entirely the publisher's choice, and had nothing to do with the government.
  • 1989 - Tonka wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protestors.
  • 2001 - The endless war is revived under the name "War on Terror".
  • 2006 - All human rights cease to be meaningful in the United States as the Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans. Cheney gets first shot.
  • 2006 - George W. Bush abolishes human rights in the United States of America. NSA uncovers the body of George W. Bush jr. in a mason jar together with some pickles which they then ate.
  • 2008 - General Grievous starts smokeing menthols..... Quickly changes back to reds.
  • 2007 - Cheney wipes out all Democrats in the White House with his shotgun. Dismissed as a hunting accident.
  • 2009 - George W. Bush is trampled to death by a heterophobic gay horny rhino on a visit to Nigeria.
  • 2010 - 'The War on Terror' is re-named 'The War on people looking at you funny'
  • 2011 - You read this blurb of text.
  • 2345 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse. Centaurs are born.
  • 2395 - Cheney Centaurs roam the earth wielding shotguns and shooting everyone in the face in various hunting accidents.
  • 9595 - Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past travels back in time to harass you.