January 9: Triple Entendre Day
- 1939 - Adolf Hitler plays "ball" with Neville Chamberlain.
- 1982 - Tony Danza "eats" a "banana" and looks stupid in slow motion.
- 1987 - Saddam Hussein "gasses" the Kurds, but it ends up being very painful.
- 1996 - Andreas Karoliussen, famous Georgian actor gets fontanellized by the young (still handsome) musician Kanye West.
- 2002 - Osama bin Laden is voted "Man of the Year" by Time Magazine, after all the charity work he did in 2001 for Islamic organizations and networks.
- 2010 - Starbucks starts a promotion with Paris Hilton to continue helping young tweens aspire to be fashion whores with no hope of breaking the glass ceiling.
- 2011 - The term "high school" is abolished after too many complaints from parents suggesting that it's "too politically correct".