Rare image of the invention of alcohol.
September 25: Pastafarian New Year's Eve
- 75 BC - Julius Caesar assembles a small army to punish the prophet Mosey for ransoming him at too low a cost.
- 10,000 BC - Alcohol invented in ireland
- 20 - God invents Grues to punish Jews who prosecuted Jesus.
- 879 - Vikings find the word "Viking" offensive. Change name to Berserkers.
- 1832 - 604th day in a row of no news to report.
- 1833 - Meteor shower destroys Paris. Rioting ensues.
- 1936 - The great prophet Barry Foster is killed by an unplugged electric model tram whilst convening a Burns supper; he is subsequently devoured by his guests as part of the main course.
- 1992 - 10am - A young Tony Blair meets a one eyed Scotsmen and falls in love.
- 1992 - 1pm - Tony realizes he's a dick and begins an elaborate 14 year plan to screw him and the country over when he leaves.
- 1999 - Britain's Millenium Dome is voted 'most useable structure' for the new millennium
- 2002 - Some girl in Kentucky is raped after a terrible accident by a guy with a triple B; pregnancy ensues.
- 2006 - You log on and view Uncyclopedia; millions die.
- 2007 - Large dome shaped roof for sale,little used, one careless owner, offers invited.
- 2009 - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' head declared useless dome, sold at auction for $12.53 (US) (€ 9,000,402) for cookie fundraiser for new pool table.
- 2017 - Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron loses landslide to newly formed Conehead Party. Liberal Democrats enter into Liberal Conehead coalition government.
- 2017 about 2 minutes later - David Cameron and Nick Clegg announce that they will divorce, as Nick "has a new bloke, and he is a Conehead!", a teary Cameron said.
- 2018 - Tony Blair and Gordon Brown announce that they will organize benefit conference for one eyed hot Scotsmen. Action heavily criticized by newly elected Conehead Party/Liberal Democrat coalition government.
- 2020 - Nick Clegg spontaneously explodes during debate on debating debates. No one in coalition notices. Clegg named a master debater.