Uncyclopedia Founder, Oscar Wilde.
Uncyclopedia is leaving 2009 as one of the
10 100 1,000 10,000 100,000 most vandalised websites in the world. That's a great proof of our success.
However, with this success comes a new set of challenges and responsibilities. As we plan for the future of Uncyclopedia and all of the Uncyclomedia projects, our two most important goals now are the hilarity of our content and the short-term destruction of every project in which we are involved.
To meet these goals we have a lot of work to do, so I am asking for your help. In the coming year, the Uncyclomedia Foundation anticipates even more dramatically increasing costs to keep up with server and traffic capacity demands, pizza delivery costs, improve our software, and to develop methods to faster download the freakiest porn, all while making progress toward our goal of inflicting free humour on whoever needs it.
Our visitors and editors have been generous in the past and contributions have kept us going over these past five years. Our recent audit shows how responsible we have been with the many donations we have received (just ignore the cheques made out to hookers and all of the adult movie rentals). As we need more funds to keep the projects going and growing, please consider making a gift to the Uncyclomedia Foundation. You will be making an investment in Uncyclopedia and all of our associated projects, helping to ensure these resources remain accessible and meaningful as our universe of users grows. Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted. You know it makes sense. There is no alternative. Do not try to resist. We know where you live.
--Founder of Uncyclopedia
--Prisoner C. 3.3, Reading Gaol