Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise/archive2

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'1st page of archives (oldest PLS competitions) | '3rd page of archives (older PLS competitions)


January-February 2008

Winners

Best Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Marie Curie by Template:U

1st runner up: The Baker's Dozen by Template:U

2nd runner up: If you loved THAT, you’ll love THIS by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Selective Inbreeding, Harry Hill

Best Noob Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: UnBooks:Life as a 4⅝ Year Old by Template:U

1st runner up: HowTo:Create a Commercially Successful Indie Band by Template:U

2nd runner up: The Roman Gods by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Why?:You Shouldn't Read Books, Peptojizmol, Concentration Sixy-four, Mousse

Best Alt. Namespace Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Why?:Get a tattoo of a tarantula on your face by Template:U

1st runner up: UnBooks:Evelyn, the Modified Dog by Template:U and UnBooks:The Judge Sentenced Me To Write This Fucking Book by Template:U (tie)

2nd runner up: UnScripts:The JFK Shootout of 1963 by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: UnScripts:Death of a Script Monkey, HowTo:Fix a Guitar

Best Illustrated Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Segue: a monologue by Template:U

1st runner up: UnBooks:The True Story of: Jimmy and the aliens; based on a true story by Template:U

2nd runner up: Horatio Hornblower by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Übermensch, Crank that (Soulja Boy)

Best Rewrite

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Dude by Template:U

1st runner up: Paris Hilton by Template:U

2nd runner up: Girls Gone Wilde by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Angry German Kid, Synchronized Car Bombing

Competition Wrap-Up

Congratulations to Uncyclopedia on having the lowest PLS turn-out yet!

Our results and scores are still being figured out for one category. Despite this, all five winners will still get their promised grand prize of the Poet Lowrate template on their userpage and $20. In order to claim this prize, email our good friend and benefactor Template:U for the details. Congratulations to these people, and to the runner-ups, and to everyone who entered. All who entered can move their articles to the mainspace now.

Thank you to all the competitors, thank you to all of the judges, thanks to Sannse for personally ponying up and providing us the bling, and thanks to יהוה who really made all of this possible. It has been a pleasure being your PLS organizer. User:Electrified mocha chinchilla/sig

Scoring Details

The scoring system was based on a points. Judges were asked to submit their top 5, points being awarded as: 5 points for #1, 4 points for #2, 3 points for #3, and so on. Total scores are below. Entries not below received no points, though they were judged. Consult any of the judges for questions.

Best Article


  1. Marie Curie – 14
  2. The Baker's Dozen – 12
  3. If you loved THAT, you’ll love THIS – 10
  4. Selective Inbreeding – 6
  5. Harry Hill – 3

Best Noob Article


  1. UnBooks:Life as a 4⅝ Year Old – 15
  2. HowTo:Create a Commercially Successful Indie Band – 12
  3. The Roman Gods – 9
  4. Peptojizmol – 3
  5. Why?:You Shouldn't Read Books – 2
  6. Concentration Sixy-four – 1
  7. Mousse - 1

Best Alt. Namespace Article


  1. Why?:Get a tattoo of a tarantula on your face – 13
  2. UnBooks:Evelyn, the Modified Dog – 10
  3. UnBooks:The Judge Sentenced Me To Write This Fucking Book – 10
  4. UnScripts:The JFK Shootout of 1963 – 9
  5. UnScripts:Death of a Script Monkey – 2
  6. HowTo:Fix a Guitar - 1

Best Illustrated


  1. Segue: a monologue – 15
  2. UnBooks:The True Story of: Jimmy and the aliens; based on a true story – 10
  3. Horatio Hornblower – 9
  4. Übermensch – 8
  5. Crank that (Soulja Boy) – 3

Best Rewrite


  1. Dude – 15
  2. Paris Hilton – 12
  3. Girls Gone Wilde – 9
  4. Angry German Kid – 6
  5. Synchronized Car Bombing – 3

July-August 2008

Winners

Best Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: The Gathering Horror by Template:U

1st runner up: Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart) by Template:U

2nd runner up: Interpretive Death by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Gemini, Observational Comedy, Pulitzer Prize, Epic poetry, Physics Act of 1707

Best Noob Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Sweatshop (humanitarian institution) by Template:U

1st runner up: Pontius Pilates by Template:U

2nd runner up: Tom O'Dell by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Adjustable gastric band AKA lap band, Prerecorded Friends

Best Alt. Namespace Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: UnTunes:White trash girl by Template:U

1st runner up: How To:Survive a Japanese Game Show by Template:U

2nd runner up: Polar Express by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: HowTo:Be a surfer, UnPoetia:T.S. Elliot Is Dead, UnBooks: Lyle Crump's Guide to starting secondary school

Best Illustrated Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: The Incredible Adventures of MS PAINTMAN! by Template:U

1st runner up: 11-Wide by Template:U

2nd runner up: Sausage party by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: UnBooks:Where's the White House?, RoxNews

Best Rewrite

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Sania Mirza by Template:U

1st runner up: HowTo:Be A Supervillain by Template:U

2nd runner up: Driving in Bucharest by Template:U and Rock lobster by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Mini, Heath Ledger, BBC


Competition Wrap-Up

Oh, I'm supposed to write here, am I? I probably should do that then.

Despite some minor difficulties, including Template:U opening the PLS without confirming we had prize money, Template:U locking the entries too early, Template:U setting the wrong unlock time for the entries, plus a few last-minute scrambles, a bit of controversy over judges entering, the total absence of Template:U, and a rather embarrassing incident involving an enormous clam and a bit too much to drink, the PLS went off well.

I say that having absolutely no idea what the other PLS competitions were like, but still.

It looks like, yes, you will get prize money, so send your postal addresses to [email protected] If you are homeless, consider yourself out of luck.

Thank you to all who entered, all who helped out, and also Template:U.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • elk cloner) 00:19 Aug 14, 2008

Scoring Details

The scoring system was based on a points. Judges were asked to submit their top 5, points being awarded as: 5 points for #1, 4 points for #2, 3 points for #3, and so on. Total scores are below. Entries not below received no points, though they were judged. Consult any of the judges for questions.

Best Article


  1. The Gathering Horror - 13
  2. Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart) - 10
  3. Interpretive Death - 9
  4. Gemini - 5
  5. Observational Comedy, Pulitzer Prize - 3
  6. Epic poetry, Physics Act of 1707 - 1

Best Noob Article


  1. Sweatshop (humanitarian institution) - 14
  2. Pontius Pilates - 13
  3. Tom O'Dell - 9
  4. Adjustable gastric band AKA lap band - 5
  5. Prerecorded Friends - 4

Best Alt. Namespace Article


  1. UnTunes:White trash girl - 14
  2. How To:Survive a Japanese Game Show - 12
  3. Polar Express - 8
  4. HowTo:Be a surfer, UnPoetia:T.S. Elliot Is Dead - 3
  5. UnBooks: Lyle Crump's Guide to starting secondary school - 1

Best Illustrated


  1. The Incredible Adventures of MS PAINTMAN! - 15
  2. 11-Wide - 11
  3. Sausage party - 10
  4. UnBooks:Where's the White House? - 5
  5. RoxNews - 1

Best Rewrite


  1. Sania Mirza - 13
  2. HowTo:Be A Supervillain - 11
  3. Driving in Bucharest, Rock lobster - 5
  4. Mini - 4
  5. Heath Ledger - 2
  6. BBC - 1

February-March 2009

Welcome to the 7th Edition of our beloved and prestigious Poo Lit Surprise. Watch your step.
The contest is over and the results are below. Consult the talk page or me for any questions or concerns. See the Poo Lit Archives for the results from past competitions.

Winners

Best Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Plink by Template:U

1st runner up: Childhood: an essay by Template:U

2nd runner up: The Watch Men by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Races, Godzilla vs. Vaginus

Best Noob Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: UN Fat Project by Template:U

1st runner up: Alfred Hitchcock by Template:U and Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Classes by Template:U (tie)

2nd runner up: My Girl's Best Friend by Template:U

Honorable Mention: Thin Mints

Best Alt. Namespace Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: UnMovie Review: Watchmen (with special guests, the Watchmen) by Template:U and UnNews:Obama unveils education reform plans by Template:U (tie)

1st runner up: HowTo:Write Serj Tankian Lyrics by Template:U and Why?:Be a transvestite if you're not going to put any effort into it? by Template:U (tie)

Best Illustrated Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Economic Collapse Barbie® by Template:U and Karl Lagerfeld by Template:U (tie)

1st runner up: Eadweard Muybridge, Zoopraxographer by Template:U

Best Rewrite

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Money by Template:U

1st runner up: Claude Debussy by Template:U

2nd runner up: Oscars by Template:U

Honorable Mentions: L, HowTo:Online Jihad

Competition Wrap-Up

And so ends another chapter in the history of the Poo Lit Surprise.

There's been some times where I wish I wasn't hosting this, but overall, it's gone better than I thought it would. The rough patches, I believe, are more than worth it for some of the new, terrific article that have been written. Congratulations to all the winners for an excellent display of writing. A hearty pat on the back to everyone else who entered, too — it's nice to have so many good writers around, so thanks for all the effort you guys have put in, especially those who wrote multiple articles.

Special thanks to Template:U, for answering those questions while I wasn't there/didn't watchlist this thing, all the judges for their time spent deciding who would be victorious, and to Template:U and Template:U for doing all the adminny stuff that I couldn't.

If anyone has any complaints about my lousy maths skills (and mistakes do happen. Often.), please feel free to moan on my talk page.

Well done all again, good luck with these on VFH, and thanks for making this the not-the-worst PLS in Uncyc history![citation needed] User:Heerenveen/sig4

Scoring Details

The scoring system was based on a points. Judges were asked to submit their top 5, points being awarded as: 5 points for #1, 4 points for #2, 3 points for #3, and so on. Total scores are below. Entries not below received no points, though they were judged. Consult any of the judges for questions.

Best Article


  1. User:GlobalTourniquet/Plink - 12
  2. User:Modusoperandi/Childhood: an essay - 10
  3. User:Composure1/The Watch Men - 8
  4. User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Races - 7
  5. User:DrStrange/Godzilla vs. Vaginus - 6
  6. User:Nickwalnut/Paedometer - 2
  7. User:Mrthejazz/Charles Lindenburg - 1

Best Noob Article


  1. User:Judepeer/UN Fat Project - 12
  2. User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Classes - 11
  3. User:GlobalTourniquet/Alfred Hitchcock - 11
  4. User:Tagstit/My Girl's Best Friend - 7
  5. User:CheddarBBQ/Thin Mints - 3
  6. User:Mahm00shA/Nile (band) - 1

Best Alt. Namespace Article


  1. User:Monika/UnNews:Obama unveils education reform plans - 12
  2. User:Modusoperandi/UnMovie_Review: Watchmen (with special guests, the Watchmen) - 12
  3. User:DrStrange/Why?:Be a transvestite if you're not going to put any effort into it? - 9
  4. User:GlobalTourniquet/HowTo:Write Serj Tankian Lyrics - 9
  5. User:So So/poetry and jap chicks archive - 1

Best Illustrated


  1. User:DrStrange/Economic Collapse Barbie® - 14
  2. User:Modusoperandi/Karl Lagerfeld - 14
  3. User:Mhaille/Eadweard Muybridge, Zoopraxographer - 9

Best Rewrite


  1. User:Sycamore/Money - 14
  2. User:15Mickey20/Claude Debussy - 11
  3. User:GlobalTourniquet/Oscars - 8
  4. User:Sonic80/HowTo:Online Jihad - 6
  5. User:Zheliel/L - 6

October 2009

Winners

Best Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Elizabeth I by Template:U

1st runner up: The History of the Decline and Fall of Uncyclopedia by Template:U

2nd runner up: MonsterQuest by Template:U

Honorable Mention: User:DrStrange/RedHerring

Best Noob Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Rules of baseball by Template:U

1st runner up: UnNews: Meteor shaped like Simon Cowell's head on collision course with Earth by Template:U

2nd runner up: Military Action by Template:U

Best Alt. Namespace Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: UnNews:Australia says "You just don't understand our humour!" by Template:U

1st runner up: Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel by Template:U

2nd runner up: UnRadio:Tricia Bellerose on Pirate FM by Template:U

Honorable Mention: User:Necropaxx/HowTo:Fish<

Best Illustrated Article

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Bi-curious_George by Template:U

1st runner up: User:Monika/The Prisoner (US Remake) by Template:U

2nd runner up: Microsoft_Knowledge_Base by Template:U

Best Rewrite

Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png Grand Champion: Abraham Lincoln by Template:U

1st runner up: FORTRAN by Template:U and Manowar by Template:U (tie)

2nd runner up: ...*cough*...

Scoring Details

The scoring system was based on colour, consistency and flavour, here