Uncyclopedia:What VFD is not

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Blue check.png

This page is considered an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia.
It has wide acceptance among editors and is considered a standard that everyone should follow, unless they don't want to, in which case they are free to ignore it, in which case nobody will care. Please make use of the standing on one knee position to propose to this policy.

VFD: our coveted place of worship where we try to appease the gods by crucifying that sacrificial lamb which is a crappy article. And really, that's all that VFD is. The name, votes for deletion, speaks for itself. We have a vote to see weather or not to delete an article. But in this day in age people seem to forget that. Users go around, doing unspeakable things on VFD. Awful things like talking and cracking jokes.[1] So just as a frame of reference, let's just say VFD is not:

A place to get revenge on another user[edit]

Don't do this.

So there's this user, he did something to you. Let's say he voted against one of your articles on VFH, what a dick! So how can you get him back? I know! Why don't you nom one of his articles for VFD?[2] That'll show him. What a great idea!


Instead of affecting him negatively, it'll probably backfire on you. Getting you a one way ticket to ban-land, causing unnecessary trouble and basically just making everyone angry at you. So just as a general rule, try to only nom articles for VFD that are genuinely terrible.

A talk page[edit]

Imagine nomming an article for VFD then coming back the next day and seeing this:

Crappy article[edit]

Score: 0
Elapsed Time: 87641 hours
Keep (3)
  1. Symbol keep vote.svg Feature! --Person
  2. Symbol keep vote.svg Keep. This is the funniest thing I've read all week. Maybe not ready for feature, but close. --Idiot
    Really? You don't think this is ready to be featured? Why not? --Person
    It's just not. --Idiot
    C'mon man! That's not a reason! --Person
    I think it is. --Idiot
    I think it's not. --Person
    Well, it is. --Idiot
    No it's not! --Person
    Yes it is. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
  3. Yes. --Idiot
    No. --Person
    No. --Idiot
    Yes. --Person
    Ha! Gotcha! --Idiot
    Goddamn-it... --Person
3. Symbol keep vote.svg Keep. Because. --Gay person
Delete (3)
  1. Symbol delete vote.svg Nom + delete This article is just bad. Just look at it: It's ugly, listy, dumb and unfunny. This needs to be deleted --Anonymous
  2. Symbol Burninate vote.png Burninate!  How is this still here?! It's so dumb! --Cunt
  3. Nuclear Explosion Seal.PNG Obliterate. This is just stupid. --The grim reaper
    Really? You think it's stupid? I think it's more dumb than stupid. --Cunt
    How so? --The grim reaper
    Well, just take the Elephant section, for example. Doesn't it just seem dumb? --Cunt
    I guess it does seem somewhat dumb, but there seems to be more stupidity here. --The grim reaper
    Where? I don't see any stupidity. --Cunt
    What about this section of text?: "To be, or not to be--that is the question:
    Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
    Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
    And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
    No more--and by a sleep to say we end
    The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
    To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause. There's the respect
    That makes calamity of so long life.
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
    The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
    The insolence of office, and the spurns
    That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
    But that the dread of something after death,
    The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
    No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have
    Than fly to others that we know not of?
    Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
    And thus the native hue of resolution
    Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
    And enterprise of great pitch and moment
    With this regard their currents turn awry
    And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
    The fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
    Be all my sins remembered." Isn't that just stupid? --The grim reaper
    Okay, yeah, you got me. That was pretty damn stupid. And as I look through the rest of the article I'm seeing more and more sentences that are far more stupid than dumb. I guess you were right. --Cunt
    Well... er... thanks? --The grim reaper
    You're very welcome. So... did you see the game on Saturday? --Cunt
    I did actually. Who were you going for? The Penises or the Baked potatoes? --The grim reaper
    I don't know, I was just watching the cheerleaders! If you know what I mean. *Nudge nudge* --Cunt
    I'm a female. --The grim reaper
    Oh... --Cunt
3. Scared face.jpg It's so bad it's scary. What a shit article. --Bastard who forgot to update the score

It's not pretty. It just clutters up VFD and makes it look ugly. Try to refrain from excessive conversation, even in the comments section.

This either.

A fight club[edit]

VFD is one of those places that just seems to attract arguments. I know that jerk who voted delete on your article really deserves to be told to go to hell, and that if you were the one lucky person to tell him that the world would be a better place. But here's the thing, no one fucking cares. It may also get you a ban.

So if you've never read Uncyclopedia's three rules, why don't you go take a look at the second one? Exercise that while you're on VFD and you should be alright.

A place to nom VFD for VFD[edit]

Oh my fucking god, are we tired of that joke! In the words of the VFD rules themselves: "Please don't nominate Main Page or Votes for Deletion; that joke has been done so many times we might just beat you with a nail bat before we tear our hair out in frustration." Truer words have never been typed into a keyboard in all of history.

Of course it's not limited to VFD and the Main Page, there are a lot of things that you shouldn't nom for VFD (QVFD, features, the dump, etc.). So when nomming things for VFD, use common sense.

And if you do nom something for VFD, like... say... the UnNews main page, and you get in trouble, don't be a smart-ass and say "Well there's no rule that says I'm not supposed to.". Just say you're sorry, and move on.


  1. What do they think we are? A humor wiki?
  2. Or better yet, his user page!