Uncyclopedia talk:Noob of the Month

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Articles for deletion This article was nominated for deletion on July 30th 2010. The result of the discussion was Keep.

Are you guys seriously going to do this? cuz it's been almost a month since I nominated him, he's almost ineligible!--slack 18:27, 28 Apr 2005 (EDT)

Sorry for the implication that you forgot this, didn't read the full rules (attach the stone of shame)--slack 18:29, 28 Apr 2005 (EDT)

Remove the stone of shame, attach the stone of triumph! But seriously, it's the 3rd, ya gonna pick someone?--slack 13:44, 3 May 2005 (EDT)

nominations ending[edit]

what day does nominations end this month (december 25??) k3vin 19:39, 30 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Probably sometime in mid-February. We're pretty lax around here. --—rc (t) 19:40, 30 Dec 2005 (UTC)


Can we pretty pretty please keep the personal arguments and comments to a minimum. If there is something you need to discuss with one of the nominees, you could at least have the common courtesy to discuss it with them in private, on their talk page. Furthermore, there is no reason to bash people with your votes, It's very rude and disrespectful. HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 17:30, 5 March 2006 (UTC)
Tompy baby, Im sorry. It's just I had to explain why I voted against Village, and I don't want the NotM to be someone who votes only along personal line...ie I pissed him off with my clever wit, and so he votes against anything I do in the future. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 18:06, 5 March 2006 (UTC)

Whatever, I was only partially referring to you, it happened on the other nomination as well. And just for future reference, it only makes it worse when you respond, so if you must respond, do it on a different page. HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 18:15, 5 March 2006 (UTC)

If I were an admin both of u, Zombie and V.I, would be pretty close to get a ban for insulting each other. V.I would be closer though. But I'm not, so who cares...--Rataube 18:27, 5 March 2006 (UTC)
And I would ban you, sir, for spelling you as "u" in such a hous of knowlage. Wait, insulting people is a bannable offence? --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 18:32, 5 March 2006 (UTC)

Maybe Insulting uncyclopedians for silly childish reasons should be.--Rataube 18:46, 5 March 2006 (UTC)

Maybe you not noticing me misspelling house (spelling it hous was a joke) should bee. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 19:31, 5 March 2006 (UTC)

If I wern't an admin, I'd suggest an admin ban all of you. Rar! --Splaka 05:43, 6 March 2006 (UTC)

Failed Nominations[edit]

That slashed text stuff looks nasty and makes the page a mess. I'm moving here the irregular nominations. -- herr doktor needsAcorpse Rocket.gif [scream!] 13:51, 15 May 2007 (UTC)


Score: 0

--Digimon 01:12, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Ineligible. No self-noms. –—Hv (talk) 11/05 14:10

Zana Dark (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)[edit]

Score: +1
  • Nom and for Within just 3 days of his/her arrival, he/she has been doing a great deal of work to make Uncyclopedia a better place. I believe that this award will be most appropriate in commemoration of his/her duties. --General Insineratehymn 04:02, 12 May 2007 (UTC)
    • Oh fuck. I just realized that this person is more than one month old. --General Insineratehymn 04:03, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

Thenick606 (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)[edit]

Score: 0 very lame nickmanes
  • Nominating. I received this kid some days ago, (s)he started Industrialization, a promising WIP, in raw HTML, no wiki format - so we at least can rest assured he's not from wikipedia nor ED. -- herr doktor needsAcorpse Rocket.gif [scream!] 15:26, 14 May 2007 (UTC)
  • Comment: Rejected the prize in his page, in an unpolite manner. Calling NotM "stupid prize"? What a N00b! -- herr doktor needsAcorpse Rocket.gif [scream!] 13:51, 15 May 2007 (UTC)


Can the definition of Noob be clarified? It says member of no more than 30 days. 30 days from when? - since the voting goes for a month. Maybe having begun no earlier than the previous month? (e.g., not before July 1 for August Noob of the month). Sir Roger 06:40, 15 August 2007 (UTC)

That rule is poor. It has kept me from nomming two awesome n00bs. :( --THINKER 15:55, 15 August 2007 (UTC)

Well think about this hypothical example:

  • 15 year old kid goes on Uncyclopedia and creates a login
  • He doesn't go on for a year
  • He remembers about uncyclopedia and goes on
  • He makes brilliant articles
  • But he can't be nominated, because he's been on this site for longer that 30 days, (in fact he has only been a user for a few hours)
  • He has to make do with just all the other prizes on Uncyclopedia.
  • That's bad!

--I like cheese 11:38, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Tis true I like cheese That would be unfair, but how else can you judge who is a n00b? You would need a hard and fast way of defining what a 'fair' n00b is and what a fair n00b is not. How about if the n00b in question logged on once a month, for 6 months, did two edits each time and then left again for the month... After 6 months of this the user then becomes very active in one month and then gets a nom for n00b of the month. During that 6 months they were probably reading the site a fair bit also, and would have been learning all sorts of things which would be making them less n00bish all the time... I think the problem is that although the case which you described would be a tad unfair we do need a solid defined rule to follow. What else would we use?
In the particular case you describe of a guy who still remembers his login password after 12 month of inactivity? That's no n00b. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 13:45, Dec 16
Wanna hear a funny story, MrN? Well, it's not so much "funny" as it is "in direct contradiction to your final thought". I made my login on April 6, 2006 (upon reading teenagers, but I digress), and then proceeded to become COMPLETELY inactive until December 16 (upon reading prog rock, but I digress again, this time purposely), whereupon I began my saga of barraging Uncyclopedia with crap.
What's that you say? Eight months isn't twelve months? Well, screw you and your semantics, bud!-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:02, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
I'm sure there are some exceptions. What's your suggestion for how we could judge who is a n00b, bud? MrN Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 21:56, Dec 16
Hrm, you seem to have taken my innocuous personally. Sorry for that. I have no problem with the noob regulations as they stand, though they could do with some sort of stab at the literacy tests employed by Jim Crow laws....ah, pomposity!-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:41, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Person arguements not kept to a minimum.[edit]

Look Max, it says keep the personal arguments to a minimum. No it doesn't. Yes it does!! Well this is a minimum. No it isn't yes it is! If this is a minimum then why did you just respond to me? But I didn't just respond to you! Yes you did, ha, got you. Err, that wasn't a response! That was an inquiry. And inquiry to what? Responses. No it wasn't. Sure it was. Prove it. Ok fine I will then. You do that. Ha, I tricked you, this is not a minimum anymore. Damn you sucker, but we're still not having a personal argument. I said, we're still not having a personal argument. Sorry sir, but your ten minutes is up. No it isn't! 'Fraid I can't argue with you unless you pay more. --MaddMax 00:36, 21 December 2007 (UTC)

Dam it's a close one this month![edit]

Can I clear something up... If a person votes against, can they also vote for someone else? Unless of course it's RC in which case everyone obviously does whatever the hell they want. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 01:48, Dec 28

Against whatever he said, for rcmurphy. http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/6/6b/Boomer_New_Years.png Happy New Years! Shouldn't I be partying? PEEING 01:51, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
Votes concerning Rcmurphy do not apply to the actual election. However, other than the Rcmurphy exception, then yeah. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 00:42, 30 December 2007 (UTC)

Alright, I'ma fight for YTTE's right to partay.[edit]

So I guess I'll try to open up some dialog here, even though we've got five days until the NotM is named. YTTE has already received an overwhelming majority of the votes out there for this month. But, according to TKF, he's now ineligible due to some edits back in late February. This makes him two months old, not one.

Personally, I don't give a shit. YTTE has been nothing but helpful during his stay. He's one of the better noobs this site has seen, writing good articles, giving great Pee Reviews, and being friendly, approachable, proactive, and just a great Uncyclopedian. He's a model noob, and I don't think he deserves to have his award taken away from him on a technicality. I think it's unfair and I'd like it if we made an exception for this month.

On the flip side, you may say "Uh, SysRq, won't that kinda undermine NotM and make it less meaningful if we're willing to bend the rules to every noob that has someone stick up for him? Rules are there for a reason, we have to be consistent!" I agree, that's a valid point. This is why I am going to propose a new rule for NotM. Suck it.

Any nominated user later found to be ineligible (by no more than another 30 days) must have a number of votes majority over the other nominees.

Now, I'm not going to say any number right now, because I would like some feedback on this proposal before I even start worrying about minor details. I'm open to respectful comments, even if they're to say that I'm fulla shit and that this is a stupid idea.

One more thing: My apologies to The Improver, the other nominee for this month. I think he's a great user, and is a great candidate for NotM. But I'm just taking this opportunity to address something that's been bothering me for a while about NotM. I am in no way trying to defer people from voting for Improver. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 18:30 Apr 26

Forum:ITT: 3 Day First-Edit Grace Period for NotM --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 18:32, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
Ah the first controversy in my Uncyclopedia life that I've been aware of, and I'm at the centre of it. I'm annoyed and frustrated, for obvious reasons: I could do something silly and pointless like going on strike against Uncyclopedia and the fairness of disqualification so late on, but what's the point? I'm bitter as well, even more so that the user who is now in first place felt it necessary to come to my talk page and feel he was the one who should break this news to me (since I've been away from the computer all day). And thank you (to the same user) kindly for observing my YesTimeTo title rule - yes I know that's unfair built up rage, but you can understand my annoyance. I've got plenty of reasons - which are clearly selfish - why I should not be disqualified. I'm not going to bring them into this, I'll stay out of the whole thing - and if a debate over this does start I think everyone nominated and therefore involved in this should abstain from arguing, too. If I am to be disqualified it's only fair to call the vote again, that's what you would do in any official vote or election (in Britain, at least, where I live) - but since this may prove complex it'll probably have to be forgone.
Also I do not appreciate pity votes on my VFH, thank you, I don't want the article in question to be featured - even if it's considered poor - because I didn't win something else. And while I know you were just trying to help, I don't appreciate being offered other awards just to make up for this. Awards should go to those who are most deserving.
A "noob" is something which is very difficult to define precisely for the purpose of these rules - for a lot of people being denied a full-blown official award (and what would almost certainly be their first award) would put them off Uncyclopedia - not that I've been put off this great site nor that I'm saying I'm particularly resilient. This has all come out of the blue and has been quite a shock but I suppose at least it's almost qualified my talk page for a second archive. I'll let the matter be discussed, debated or ignored as you wish. - 08:55 26 AprilSir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
To get the drama out of the way, I'll just say that I agree that it was out of line for Improver to be the one to come to your talk page. He should have just kept quiet and not said anything. But I don't want this to become about drama. This is for discussion of my alternative to a simple "Make it a two month requirement instead of one" rule. YTTE, I know you're frustrated. But don't let it get the better of you. Keep a level head and let's try to keep this drama free. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 20:11 Apr 26
I say for for your little proposal. --User:The Improver/sig22:07, Apr 26 2008 (UTC)

Who made everyone who voted for Rcmurphy suspicious?[edit]

I ask you, who? Because I voted for Rcmurphy and I'm a mamber. Then this guy called Thekillerfroggy comes around and makes every vote suspicious. I'm just a n00b but some people have been here for a long time. I'm voicing my opinion on this but I don't think it's fair to mark every vote as suspicious just because you want one person to win. That's not fair. Those people who voted have a fair right of doing so, he didn't get the award last month. Why not give it to him, why not I ask you? Do you guys have anything against rcmurphy? So why not? --User:Qua/sig 17:32, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

/me Snooze.... Just on the off chance that's a serious question... Look at his user page, and contributions. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 17:40, May 19
Hey, play nice MrN9000 Edit Conflicter! The reason was because Rcmurphy is an extremely experienced user, but is considered a big n00b as part of a sorta in-joke. I think he was nominated before the real n00b candidates came along and so everyone voted for him. However, if he won he'd be robbing the real n00bs of the award. Rcmurphy hardly needs another award. - 17:42 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Yeah, what they said. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 20:06, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

February 2009[edit]

This is a tough month. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:15, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Seems easy enough to me..... --TPLN 22:06, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
That's funny. You're funny. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:25, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
But you know what isn't funny? Genital herpes. Genital herpes is a serious condition that affects 15% of all adults over the age of 21. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/bf/Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 23:38, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
Heheh. He said "Genital". Heh heh. --TPLN 23:39, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
But you know what is funny? Genital warts. Genital warts is a hilarious condition that affects 100% of all the mothers I have. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 00:16, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
If that's true, there's a good chance you have congenital warts. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/bf/Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:17, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
Try asking Orian about genital warts. Sir SysRq (talk) 02:52, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
Yeh. His are bad. It's more wart than genitals, though. - [07:39 12 February 2009] YYettie


Hey I've written nothing. Can I be Noob of the Month?xD --Enkay 06:36, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes, and by "yes", I mean "no". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:10, 27 May 2009 (UTC)


New users[edit]

I'm generally not too involved with the award pages but here's are a few recent arrivals (with the exception of Funnybony and Mykell) to keep an eye on. MadMax 15:50, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

I like STParker. He had the gall to get rid of a few of my contributions to his article and I had the gall to let him get away with it! --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 18:29, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
I like Ironic Youth. He has a cool name. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/b/b0/Icons-flag-it.png 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/3/35/SBQ3.JPG/15px-SBQ3.JPG 18:35,22July,2009

Disqualified noms[edit]

Move from the main page for cosmetic reasons. I didn't sign on the main page for exactly the same reason. <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 10:51, 6/08/2009

Siddhartha-Wolf (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)[edit]

Score: Ineligible
Hang on, is he to old for this award? Looks like his first contribution was on 11:24, 28 June 2009. Hmm how many days is that? Dam this is a close one. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 14:19, Aug 2
At best he makes the limit, at worst he's a day or two too old. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:33, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
Eh, we really fnagled our way to get that grace period up there added, then subsequently promised we'd never fuck with the times again. If someone bothers to do the math and discovers he's a day over, I don't know what to say. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 15:36, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
The answer is simple--no one do the math. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:12, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
I did the math. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 04:16, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
The results are in, then? Who is the father? --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 04:28, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
Give me a moment, I like to build suspense. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 04:46, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
I'd say that's enough time. He's ineligible by a day. Had there been one less day in July... http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 17:28, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
Symbol for vote.svg For. I don't care if you put that scratchy S thingys over his name, 1 fucking day ppl! Srsly! Surely we can create a clause bending it? Besides all votes are currently going to someone who hasn't been a noob for like over a year Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 06:30, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
We created the clause already. That's why the "±3" is up there next to the 30 days of eligibility. Had we not created the "clause", he would be ineligible by four days (this comment is just to prevent what I predict will be a further argument to expand/ignore it). Also, when rc wins NotM it's because there's nobody else that deserves it, he actually hasn't been a noob in a little over four years. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 06:38, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Oh I get it now lol I am behind the times... So does that still make sid inelligable? Ill just leave my vote there and if vultures eat it then so be it Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 06:48, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Sorry about my confrontational tone above. If I recall correctly, we went through this over a little over a year ago, except it involved a particularly popular noob and a huge issue was raised over it. After the usual textual shouting matches over the forums, somebody, I think TKF, suggested expanding the eligibility period by three days. The suggestion was overwhelmingly supported, the ±(seriously, what the hell is that thing?)3 was added, and everybody went to get Fudgesicles. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 06:59, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
No worries at all, at least I know now for future reference :) Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 07:07, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
It's a plus/minus. It's like the interrobang of mathematics. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 07:01, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I thought it was an underlined plus. Until I tried to underline a plus, that is. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 07:04, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Keeping the discussion off the front page.[edit]

Have to admit I'm getting a teensy bit annoyed at the time restriction stuff on NotM. I was close to disqualified for last month due to time frames (just managed to squeeze in) and Miley and Sid are disqualified this month (just outside in one instance and well outside but non-contributing in the other.) I'm in favour of the concept of keeping it down to the 30(symbol that I don't know the ascii code for so can't be buggered putting it in but means effectively "more or less")3 as it gives a clear-cut definition, but by the same token I think that it would take someone fairly tightassed to say that neither Miley or Sid are n00bs in the spirit of the award. I also wonder at the logic of this as there are people who come here from other parody/comedy wiki's and start writing frantically from day one, and yet there are others who are completely new to wiki formatting (and I include myself in this) who have to learn that at the same time as being creative, which adds a certain element of challenge to it. I'm not arguing that we should do away with this restriction, but I'm interested to know if I'm alone in my opinion here (and yes, this is an opinion only. I've just forgotten how to enclose it in the <opinion></opinion> tags.) <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 23:47, 7/08/2009

1th, NotM bears a terrible curse,
2rd, Forum:Noob eligibility requirements. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:58, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Hardly a consensus 9 vs. 11. Also, what about wikipedia:ignore all rules? The preceding unsigned comment was added by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays (talk • contribs)
Vote hasn't closed, but I'm happy to go with majority consensus, assuming that there is a clear consensus. <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 00:05, 8/08/2009
No clear consensus = status quo. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:22, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
I don't agree with that. Let's have a vote on it! <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 00:25, 8/08/2009
Symbol against vote.svg Against. having a vote on it. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN13:57, 8 Aug

I'm citing Ignore All Rules. These two are good noobs, and WikiLawyering is preventing them from winning. -- huge Ape (burninate) (Riot Porn) 15:05, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

They're over the limit, which gives them an advantage over other noobs who came in more recently. This isn't wikilawyering, please see UN:WRITE, UN:SEATING, UN:CURTAINS, and UN:BIRCHBARK for greater understanding of what wikilawyering looks like. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 16:37, Aug 8
What about UN:IGNOREALLLEDBALLOONS? -- huge Ape (burninate) (Riot Porn) 16:56, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
That balloon comment just went over my head <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 01:06, 9/08/2009
Um, TheLedBalloon -- huge Ape (burninate) (Riot Porn) 01:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
Um, Balloon = floaty thing in the sky = over my head. <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 01:36, 9/08/2009
http://instantrimshot.com/ - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 02:59, Aug 9
Rimshot.gif Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:09, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
Thank you, thank you... I'll be here until banned... <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 04:10, 9/08/2009
It's cool you'd even consider me! I joined and edited here for one day right before finals, and that was it for a while. I finished the school year, moved for the summer, etc. then came back about 2 1/2 weeks ago. So if you don't count that one day (June 9), I've only edited here since July 25. But I have edited on other wikis for a long time, so I'm a n00b here but not n00b to Wikis. So even if you didn't count that one day, I wouldn't really be a noob anyway. But thanks! :) Miley Spears 03:37, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
Woah, woah! Woah! We didn't ask for your life story, here. We asked if you could pass the ketchup. Jeez! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:49, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
I think she's looking for a tip or something. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 04:55, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
Not for service like this! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:57, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
Music to be a n00b by potr


I have a question. There are nominations... But in fact there is nothing mentioned what noobish they did. well, I think there should be written examples so those that doesn't know everything will know reason :P Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 21:26, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Click on the Special:Contributions tag. The reality is the n00bishness is due to the date of becoming a member. (Except Rcmurphy - he's just a n00b.) PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                 
I hope you don't think that I will be checking his editions :P And well.. Whats going on with Rcmurphy? :P I also wanna know why you call him noob so much :P Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 01:03, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
And what means 30+/- days of being member. members are people having accounts or I missed something and member is some kind of rank you get? Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 01:16, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Members are people who have achieved the rank of MUN. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 01:19, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
You know when you got a username? That's when you became a member. So, in short, when you joined was when you joined. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:21, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Theoretically as I got my username here one and half months ago I can't be nominated for noob, right? Well, I'm surprised of that rule because in Polish uncyclopedia it's totally different... To nominate you need to be at least 30 days (or more), and you CAN nominate yourself and you cant vote for yourself :P Well... Cultural shock ;D Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 01:36, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
I hate to point this out, but this isn't the Polish Uncyclopedia. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:03, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Chill, I didn't say they are better... Actually they are worse :P Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 11:42, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
But Uncyclopedia is the worst, right? Please tell us it is. It's what we live for. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:06, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Personally, I think most of the articles on the English uncyclopedia are crap, and I haven't seen a single article on the Polish uncyclopedia that I thought was badly written. Of course that might be because I can't read Polish. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  16:42, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Their wiki is all jokes about how many of them it takes to do something. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:06, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Translated from Polish: "How many Americans does it take to tell a joke? Answer: One." PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                 
The people I was going to nominate already got nominated by someone else. It's just so unfair! I was the previous NotM I should get to nominate, darnit! You people are all really, uh, poopy! There, I said it. Poopy! (I read somewhere that people who win NotM are supposed to be nice at first, then start acting like jerks. Am I doing it right?) Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:07, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
No. Winners of NotM are supposed to promptly disappear. It's "The NotM Curse"! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:29, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Oh, darnit, I got it wrong. Well then. I'm off to, I don't know, take a trip, get my battery recharged, look for a job, start a war, fight for a lady, something. Goodbye! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:09, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
I don't know where you get this isane NOTM curse idea from anyway PuppyOnTheRadio
Oh, you and your fancy smancy templates. You expect people to be impressed? OK so I am impressed, but that's not the point. Besides that you misspelled "insane." Misspeller! Misspeller! Pffffft! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:45, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Also while you're misspelling I am fighting for a lass. Don't believe me? See here. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:48, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Hah! You're wrong! I misspelt asinine. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                 

And I never won Noob of the Month. Outrage! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 04:25, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

You should have done what I did. Come in right at the end of summer/winter break (depending upon hemisphere) when all the would-be noobs are going back to high school/college and don't have time to start anything new other than school. Also make sure your hours at work get cut way, way back because of the recession so you have lots of time to waste when you should be looking for more work because you're running out of money. Did you know you can make three meals out of one package of Top Ramen? Just add a little cardboard. It's filling, and full of fiber! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:52, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Top Ramen?! Elitist. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:29, November 4, 2009 (UTC)
Yep, I am. Also I only eat cardboard from the top of the box. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:40, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I must win this! Consider this a statement of intent! Dannehvirus 03:41, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

Consider this advice not to say things like that. Also you don't yet qualify--see the project page (link above). Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:38, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a little ambition. I wouldn't vote for him, though, because the vowel-to-consonant ratio on his userpage is simply too high. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/bf/Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:45, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
I don't know; I've got no ambition and Unc has given me awards because they felt sorry for me. I like doing the pity mode better because I am so pitiful. Notice how pitilessful that sounds? "You can vote for me if you really want to, but I won't because I'll never know if I won or not anyway as I'm hiding my head under a pillow for feeling worthless." Works every time. Except when it doesn't. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:55, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Heh... Don't worry about me, you lot. I'll find an excellent idea for an article and win some kind of award, even if it isn't Noob of the Month. I'll make it happen. I don't need pity, or patronising either. Consider THIS advice not to underestimate me! Dannehvirus 03:03, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

That's terrible advice. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:39, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, there's nothing wrong with a weird, thinly-veiled threat. I'm still going to underestimate him, though, because he keeps announcing on the forums that he has no ideas for articles. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/bf/Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:20, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe his plan is to appear hopelessly incompetent so we all underestimate him. It won't work on me though, I don't believe in estimating. Exact measurements for life yo! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN00:23, 8 Jan
Besides, if he's only pretending to be incompetent, he's managed to surround himself with actual incompetents. There's simply no way he'll amount to anything. It's like being the only smart guy in the Bush Administration. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:48, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Before he does away with the site, though, it bit him on the ass once. He got caught in the -username- trick on the vote for ban page late last night, freaked out both on that site and on his talk page, and I talked him down while at the same time realizing that he will win many potatoes and other shiny objects. Aleister in Chains] July 4th, 1776

Is there like a list of all users who have joined in the last month?[edit]

It would be very helpful. Like something based on time, that left them off the list after 31 days. So that we could see what noobs there actually were. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 17:10,6February,2010

It's at Special:Log/newusers. That may not be exactly what you're saying, but it's very close. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  17:38, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
Also as a NotM has to have written a new article (or substantially rewritten an existing one), or made five cool images to qualify, you can check Special:RecentChanges. There's links at the top of that page for New pages and New images. Unfortunately, I don't believe there's one link that puts this all together, so you have to go through them yourself. If anyone knows of such a thing, please let us know. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  17:43, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
Have you tried Ban Patrol? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:25, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

Happymonkey39's nom[edit]

But i never used it...look at my history, i edited 1 or two articles and then left my account to die...*sniff sniff* This is all i have left...i can't be nominated for uncylopedian of the month...or can i? NOM ME OR ESLE...hehe nom me, nom nom...on second thought i don't have a shot against helpme but maybe the writer of the mounth!...ill shut up now. --User:Happymonkey39/sig 15:19, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
HEY WAIT A SECOND! at the top it says 30 days except Rcmurphy, he had this award 2 years ago! Why is he so special, someone add my name up there! I mean cmon i have a good reason, i didn't use the account cause i was in the hospital...or not, but still i wasn't here so... --User:Happymonkey39/sig 15:24, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
Rcmurphy as NOTM has been an injoke for a while. Changing the rule from 30 days to 30+3 days was enough of a stretch. A lot of people consider it unfair for cases like yours to be allowed to win, so they don't.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Thursday, 03:51, July 15 2010 UTC
Also, you have to be around a lot longer to be UOTM or WOTM...--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Thursday, 03:52, July 15 2010 UTC
You did quite a few edits in February, it just seemed like a few. But look on the bright side, you are actually no longer a noob! You are a veteran of the Uncy crew, a man about town, a guy the noobs have to get coffee for. And you are too much fun to be put off by this, let the noobs fight it out (and hopefully tie) and then laugh at their noobness. Only assholes win Notm, according to HELPME, so people like you, I, and HELPME don't want it anyway. Leave it to the others and wipe the dust of their noobness off your feet. Aleister 16:00 15 7
...you and HELPME have won NOTM. But i get you Aliester....ALIESTER! GIVE ME MY DAMN COOKIES! I WANT MY COOKIES BACK NOW! DON'T MAKE ME PULL OUT THE GUN AGAIN! --User:Happymonkey39/sig 16:05, July 15, 2010 (UTC) --User:Happymonkey39/sig 16:05, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
Eh, actually, the monkey has a point, in a way. I shouldn't qualify either, as I've been here a lot longer than him... since before there was a noob of the month thing, in fact. Just saying. Rather like him, I didn't actually do anything until last month, though. ~ Meaningless symbol Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20100715 - 16:07 (UTC)
Well thank you, but Aliester just conviced me that I really shouldn't get this award, give it to that Lord fellow, i didn't even know he was new. --User:Happymonkey39/sig 16:09, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
What? I won it? Oh, yeah, forgot. Well, proves the point. Only assholes win it. But I use my award as a doorstop, and don't really make a big deal out of awards anyway, like other people do. Take them (like cookies) or leave them actually. But my point is, seriously, you are a very good writer, editor, and talk page player, so this is icing on someone else's cake. Ummmm, cake. Aleister few minutes later
Lyrithya is cutting it close, but is still eligible. Looking at Happymonkey's contribs, I see the problem. You made quite a few edits in January and February.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Thursday, 04:15, July 15 2010 UTC
Didn't Why have some sorta "spiritual noob" award for people who didn't win or were ineligible? User:Paizuri/sig2 20:28, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
=D --User:Happymonkey39/sig 01:26, July 16, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, here it is:

User:Paizuri/sig2 17:06, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

Don't feel bad noob[edit]

I didn't even know about NOTM until 3 or 4 months after I was here. It's probably the reason I refuse to write articles.  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  24 Jul 2010 ~ 00:43 (UTC)

Lyrithya's nom[edit]

I've been watching everyone talk about this for days, wondering if s/he had a past history here, and all the time s/he's said so right on hir talk page! under the heading Dogs that need putting down. . .in other words, proof that this account is a sock listing the full article and other edits s/he wrote in July of 2009. Lord and others have told people about this, even copied hr history, and people kept voting. If it was the last day I'd vote for hir just because of this, watching it has been fun. One of the best new/old writers on the site, check out hir Fern and other pages. Aleister, Lyrithya fan 15:46 23 7
  • Hold on a second. I'm pretty sure the contributions from then were from an IP- does that still count? Or am I reading this wrong?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Friday, 06:28, July 23 2010 UTC
I thought Lyrithya = Athyria ... http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/0f/MacManiasig-cheerios.png http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/73/MacManiasig-holmes.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7c/MacManiasig-starwars.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/70/MacManiasig-firefly.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/6/60/MacManiasig-pixar.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/76/MacManiasig-oregon.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/f/fd/MacManiasig-lesmiz.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7c/MacManiasig-doctor.png http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/d/d8/HalLogo.png/16px-HalLogo.png Sir MacMania GUN[18:30 23 Jul 2010]
Again, on hir user page under the heading "Dogs that need putting down". S/he told everyone all along!!!! I love it. Aleister a minute later
One of you now kindly move this unnecessary discussion to the talk page otherwise I'll ban the lot of you. And your raccoon as well. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 18:35, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry. :( I just wanted you to respond, and everyone else to shut their mouths so this wouldn't turn into a big discussion.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Friday, 06:46, July 23 2010 UTC

Hi Lyrith. They finally read your user page, the bastards! And all of this hir and s/he, I'm pretty sure you're a woman or a really gay guy, but the feeling is a woman. But Paizuri and others have been saying he, so I've kept my opinion on that to myself. No use telling us either, since you can make up anything you want. This has been fun, and not only are you noob of the month in my heart but you're one of the really good newly active writers around here, for surtainly. Aleister 18:43 23 7

On top of reading the page, we did a proper checkuser to make sure no mistake is done. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 19:04, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
After all this, finally disqualified for the account that lasted two hours. And I didn't even have to do anything but write a crappy article a year ago. I love you guys. (No, that is not sarcasm. I find this hilarious.) User:Lyrithya/sig/2 -- 20100723 - 23:41 (UTC)
JUSTICE IS SERVED!...and see, I'm not the only one confused of your gender. --User:Happymonkey39/sig 20:54, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
I take it this means you don't want to make out... *shifty eyes* User:Lyrithya/sig/2 -- 20100727 - 00:55 (UTC)
This is why i don't have a girlfriend...and after hearing about the plastic surgery of yours, im good. --User:Happymonkey39/sig 05:31, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Plastic surgery? Plastic surgery?! I'll have you know there was no plastic involved... it was all firming and stretching. Well, besides the plastic wrap, but that was merest technicality. And resolution of complications... and, why, I almost do look like a lady now... *sigh*
Maybe you need a boyfriend. User:Lyrithya/sig/2 -- 20100730 - 03:43 (UTC)

I was winning![edit]

Right up until I was invalidated. I was robbed I tell ya, robbed!

Ok, not really.

It's really just an honor to be nominated. I'll always have that. (Congrats to Tonillero.)  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  02 Oct 2010 ~ 02:10 (UTC)

Eh, you were doing rather funnily. If anyone was robbed, though, it was the guy who was invalidly nominated, invalidated, and then still received further invalid votes (especially since at least two of them voted twice)... ah, well. You made the other point fairly well, I'd say, anyhow, with that nomination... I really was going to do the same, but I chickened out. *siiiigh* Oh... okay, there's a wasp on my hand... er... crap, I forgot what I saying. User:Lyrithya/sig/6 -- 20101002 - 02:42 (UTC)
I love that guy! I think I may have even voted for him.  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  02 Oct 2010 ~ 02:48 (UTC)
I think I may have voted for him, too, actually... odd. Wait, did I seriously vote for three people? o__O User:Lyrithya/sig/6 -- 20101002 - 03:13 (UTC)
People? (Nobody knows you're a dog on the internet.)  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  02 Oct 2010 ~ 03:15 (UTC)
I figure anything sentient and capable of coherent communication is a person. Yes, that rules out quite a few humans. But it also allows for some rather odder things, which works just fine for me. Even dogs... or better yet, brooms pretending to be horses. o_O User:Lyrithya/sig/6 -- 20101002 - 03:52 (UTC)