Unemployment

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An unemployable chav.

Unemployment is a system which indefinitly remains in beta. The current system allows a person to set up a benefits account, but when attempting to claim benefits the system enters a feedback loop where the beneficiary aimlessley transfers between attempting to contact a claims specialist and inputing their information into an automated system which will redirect them to an unavailable claims specialist which will redirect them to an automated system which will redirect them to an unavailable claims specialist.

Unemployment in history[edit]

Recent findings of various fossils, some as old as 4,000,000 years indicate that our early ancestors had nothing better to do than to evolve, yet some became extinct, probably since evolutionary volunteers were present in abundance and they were laid off, or something. Scholars conclude, that they were likely unemployed since their qualifications were not matching the ever-changing labour-market. Imagine a fletcher trying to make a flintstone knife? Impossible!

An unemployed actor.

More recent fossils and archaeological findings, including ancient Egypt and Greece, shed some interesting light on that subject. It is understood that some unemployed members of otherwisely productive societies were so bored that they went totally bonkers and started to hallucinate (compare Myth, Religion and Philosophy). Some, due to lacking support from their governmental support agencies committed gruesome acts of crime and looked for support in communities other then the one that had abandoned them.

Ancient Greek philosophers developed some seriously convincing theories on existence, whilst sitting all day in their jammies in the forum. Hence, they must have been unemployed and were able to come up with that kind of stuff.

In more modern times unemployed, since unproductive, albeit unqualified and completely unable of a straight thought, have been pushed towards the edges of societies and were henceforth outcasts. Most of them have retaliated and became politicians and lawyers.

Unemployment as a stigma[edit]

In the modern world it is canon that being unemployed is a bad thing. Of course it is, you can't even buy the most basic stuff, like a car, rent a DVD or go out fancy with your pals, your girlfriend, or improve your social standing by being seen in the company of an attractive escort.

Nonetheless in most western societies "being unemployed" has become something of a stigma, even though there is quite basically no-one in the family who never was unemployed. Which would suggest, that it is some sorf of sexually transmitted disease, much like life, yet seems to be curable and non-lethal.

See also[edit]