United States of Europe

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The United States of Europe
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United States of Europe.GIF

Coat of Arms
You no the ansewer but you do not no the question. One of lifes biggest mysterys as told by a "common American" Official languages Everything Except English
Motto: “Cheating tourists from around the globe”
Government: Monarchy
Military: The Swiss Guard
Capital A quaint little Eastern European village
Religion Islam, Catholicism, Greekgodsism, Religious Fanaticism
Boss Snooty people
Currency Everything but the American Dollar
Exports Euros,Speedos, Strange little carved-wood figurines, Half a bazillion kinds of quaint little town ceremonies that are found nowhere else, Tea, Kids, the Black Death, Cheese, Wine, Moustaches, Classical Stuff, Monuments, Snails,Pornography
Imports Tourists, Hamburgers, TV, Football
Independence 2007
National anthem "Mozart and Other Old German Guys' Classical Stuff"
Natural Resources Rain, Fog, Castles,
Official Cuisine Maltesers, Snails, Vaginas

The United States of Europe is a country founded in Europe (where else?) in 2006. It was immediately sued for plagarism and copyright infrigement by the United States of America, who lost the case in a vicious thumb-wrestling match.

Following the Nike Revolution of 2006, the people of Europe saw the massive TV revenues Amerika was making and decided it wanted some of the action. The start of the European revolution came in November of that year with the tiny Belgian village of Pottsdam declaring war on Germany. Germany retaliated and ammassed a huge army to invade Belgium. However, the European Union got very angry and threatened to cut Germany's budget re-development benefit subsidies by almost .5%. This placated the Germans, and Europe appeared quiet until spring 2007.

Founding of the USE[edit]

In that year, Malta gained presedency of the EU, and once again tried to push through the European Constitution, with some major Malteasian changes. This move was vehemently opposed by both Latvia and Cyprus, two countries in Europe who both felt a bit left out and wanted some of the action. Spain was at the time in the middle of the Spanish Premeire Leaga and so did not take part in the debate, Germany, still smarting from the events of November was sulking on the other side of the Rhine and the UK, France and Italy all decided to let the little countries sort it out.

It was at that point, on a tip off from some intelligence, Amerika learned of some supposed terrorists operating in France, and Bush flew over immediately on a state visit, taking valuable time off from his election campaigning. Due to some mix up with speeches and some badly placed Bushisms, Bush managed once again to piss off the French, and his chopper only narrowly made it out of Paris in one piece.

The people of Europe took to the streets and vented their anger whereever they could, the first place being on the referendum being held on the new constitution. Against all odds (1 to 278,790,388.56) the referendum was passed and the constitution adopted by the EU, which by this point stretched from Greenland to Pakistan. This led to the EU being turned into the United States of Europe. The capital was kept at Brussels renamed Brussels D.C., because it was the most boring city in Europe and the time (although later overtaken by Milton Keynes), and the currency was changed from the Euro to the Malteser.

Governing of the USE[edit]

All governments in Europe were disbanded and a Federal system was set up. Each country was turned into a state, although some countries broke into two states. The most notable was Denmark, turning from Denmark into Denmark and Ferensguteralfersenningsbergen. However, the French found this so difficult to pronounce, they promtly nuked Ferensguteralfersenningsbergen just to be rid of it. The unrest caused by the political upheaval continued until the end of 2010, when it eventually calmed down once the Europeans became resigned to the fact that their fate was to turn out like the Americans. The United States of Europe (USE) is currently waging its own war on Islam, sorry terror, which it says has nothing to do with the Amerikan one. USE troops currently occupy the Muslim Republic of Dijibuti, but are finding it hard to repress attacks by the six insurgents operating out of the north.

The future looks bright for the USE with "Football", a ball game involing absolutly no feet being adopted as the national sport. God Bless Europe.