University of Colorado

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The University of Colorado (CU) is the cleanest, friendliest Christian school in the world. Located in the super clean city of Boulder, Colorado, CU is known for its Anti-Marijuana sit-ins and its general air of Holy Goodness. It is not to be confused with Naropa, the dirty Mormon school in north Boulder or Lyons.


CU was founded in the year 0 when Baby Jesus decided to take a long, adventurous romp that took him to the far reaches of Wyoming. There he met a young alternate reality Chuck Norris, and they decided to found a college based on moral Christianity and roundhouse kicking. Norris soon left the school, however, to fight evil, but made a promise to return when 'Jupiter rises in the northlyeast and Soviet Russia can once again feel free. (It has been noted, however, that in Soviet Russia, free feels you.) CU is a Liberal Arts college, meaning students are quite liberal in their belief in Christ.


Sadly, most of the history of CU was lost when a rouge band of evil Kitten Huffers mistook Boulder for a pothead town and began huffing everything in site. The only reason they were stopped was because of Super Jesus's quick thinking in the deployment of the Nihilism bomb. What is known for sure is that there has never been a sex crime in the history of CU. Ever.

Impact on Society[edit]

CU is one of the most important places in the lore of Christianity, and has been visited by most major Jesii. Normal people fear it, due to the great holy energies flowing forth from its streets and buildings. However, many are converted by staring deeply into the eyes of the pizza statue at the main pearly gates.

Modern Day[edit]

At present, CU feels that Jesus is great, although the new CU president, Ultra Jesus, may be too lax on gluttony, perhaps sending some sinners to Purgatory who really deserved to go to hell. CU's science labs discovered Elemental Jesus, which is a cure for scientology. Also, CU's Football team is proud to announce its new coach, Dan Hawkins.