University of Maine

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University of Maine
The School's Logo and Atheltic Teams' emblem.
Motto Nova Scotia's third cousin twice removed.
Established 1865
School type Four Years of Hell
President Old Man Rivers
Location Butterback, Maine
Campus 2.3 sq miles
Enrollment 592 undergraduate,
Nobody with sense comes back or tries to join.
Faculty Retired Fishermen
Mascot Buttered Lobster...MMMM!


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Founding[edit]

A group of homeless fishermen were masturbating one day when they decided "Hey why don't we make our own University? Then hot co-ed chicks will show up and we could fuck them?" The other men who weren't quite finished yet agreed. Thus in 1865 The University of Maine was formed. The building site was a old hospital employing over 700 nurses not to mention the countless sick. However the fishermen decided since none of the nurses were attractive the hospital would be torn down to make room for they're new project. 700 workers were hired these were the same nurses that had been fired earlier. They worked in the hot sun day and night with no rest and no dental plan. Finally the nurses who at this point were sweating out of they're nostrils died from exhaustion. They're bodies were quickly disposed of and packaged to become soylent products. The campus looked beautiful and the peverted fishermen were quite happy when They're first student to walk on the hallowed grounds of the university showed up. She promptly fucked the fishermen and was able to skip all four years of college and travel into the future.