Ununquadium

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“Loving that ununquadium!”

~ Tamia

“Two U's AND a Q! This is way better than unununium!”


Ununquadium, or Uuq, is believed by all the greatest scientists, historians, and philosophers to be the greatest element in the universe. It can make your bed, do your taxes, lower your blood pressure, change your oil and even do back flips through a hula hoop.

Etymology[edit]

Ununquadium's glorious name comes from Greek; Unun meaing "not not" that is, "is to" and quad meaning "four" and ium wich is added to all the elements, except those that have "gen" added (hydrogen; oxygen) and those stupid elements (carbon, mercury, iodine). Note, however, that this is all a lie. Ununquadium is not four, and it is not an element; it is a compound of cheesium and chlorine. Therefore, it would be more accurate to call it Unquadium, or even dicheesium-chloride.

History[edit]

One day, Nazi scientists decided to force two cheesium atoms and one chlorine atom into bed and they had an orgy. They all loved it, and it is believed to be the best orgy Germany has ever had. As a result, ununquadium was born. The scientists realized that they had something brilliant, but the international community refused to accept the discovery because that's what they do when Nazis make discoveries. To this day, the lie is perpetuated by them that ununquadium is a naturally occuring element.

Relationship with mint jelly[edit]

“It was not my fault, Mint jelly seduced me. [insert pronoun here] was so damn hat”

In 1940, when Ununquadium was younger, it had a really hot affair with Mint Jelly. Mint Jelly was already married to your mom and when she found out, she was so pissed at both of them for being so sexy.She demanded that they be humiliated by the newspapers and so the affair is still rather famous and is known about by everyone except you.