“Hey, if Summershit's the biggest party of the summer, then Unwhoregiven may as well be the biggest hangover of the summer.”
“For twenty extra bucks, I can make it seem like I WANT to have sex with you.”
Unwhoregiven is a now annual WWE event and has been ever since the year 2000. It was created during the infamous Daughters With Attitude Era. President of the WWF Vince McCrack wanted to make his company look "cool" with "serious" pay-per-views, and decided Unwhoregiven, The Biggest Hangover of the Summer, fit the bill. Unwhoregiven is an event that honors the sluts of the world, and is chock full of AIDS filled fun for the whole family. The official theme song for Unwhoregiven is "I'm a white boy trying to make a meaningful rap song" by Limp Bizkit.
- WWE Midget Heavyweight Championship: Danny Devito (c) defeated Gary Coleman to retain the title.
- Danny Devito won after Gary Coleman's parents interfered in the match.
- Main Event: 10,000 STD's of Death Match: Paris Hilton vs. Pamela Anderson went to a no contest.
- Hillary Swank defeated Clint Eastwood by submission.
- Swank won by forcing Eastwood to submit after the horrifying image of her putting on her mouthguard.
- Kim John Il defeated Hitler in an "I'm the baddest mother-fucking dictator!" match.
- Kim John Il won by pinning Hitler after he was sedated by a nearby Anne Frank.
- Main Event: Two On One Handicap Match: Hillary Duff defeated The Olsen Twins with John Mark Karr as the special guest referee.
- John Mark Karr knocked himself unconscious during the match, after he got too close to a four year old girl sitting in the front row. This allowed Hillary to incapacitate both Olsen Twins with a Children's Bible, and getting a three count in the end.
This installment of Unwhoregiven is widely regarded as "Stone Cold Steve Austin"'s finest hour. During the Daughter's with Attitude era, Steve Austin beccame the company's biggest star. In short, he was The Big Shit of the WWE. So, it was only natural that he had the most publicity.
- Redneck Triathalon: Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated George Dubya Bush.
- Austin defeated Bush by outrednecking him.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated Your Mom.
- Your Mom is gay, so Austin wins.
- Main Event: Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated Sophia by disqualification to retain the WWE Championship.
- Sophia got pissed off and murdered Steve Austin by ripping out his spinal cord and choking him with it. Can you blame her?
- The Title was then given to J.R for winning a talking out your ass competition
Unfortunately, this installment of Unwhoregiven had to be cancelled because of The War Of The Roses. Some 10000042 WWE superstars quit the roster during this period to go fight the good fight. There was only one match scheduled for Unwhoregiven 2003.
Triple Threat Hardcore Nerds Match for the WWE Championship: Bill Gates vs. Kaz Hirai vs. Reggie Fils-Aime
WWE Male Striperweight Championship
- Triple H def. Triple H when Triple H pinned Triple H
- WWE Nigga championship
AL Roca def Mr.T when it was found that Mr.t is only half Black
- Hardcore Match
Kool-aid guy def B.K. king
- Ladder Match
Bill Gates def. The Terminator (Bill hacked into terminators system)
- WWE Championship
Ronald McDonald def Tony Hawk
- Gay champs
Hitler def Osama bin laden
- EXTREME Gay Champion
Guy who previously edited this article directly above me vs The Fab 5
THe Fab 5 weren't in this guys league of gayness.
- Underwear match
the Underweartaker defeated Randy Whoreton when the Underweartaker took off Randy's underwear
- Ladder match
Gay Mysterio vs Edy Garerow ended in a no contest, Edy's own wife pushed him off the ladder and he died
- Bra and Panties Match
Hulk Hogan's daughter defeated Stephanie Mcmahon when Hulk Hogan got involved
- Nigga King Of The Ring Battle Royal
Booger T defeated Selfish Benjamin, Booby Lashley, Fat Henry, Viscera, Dyme Tyme, Ron Simmons a.k.a the guy who always says DAMN!!, Teddy Bear Long, MVP, Charles Barkley, Barrack Obama, Jay-Z, Will Smith, Rikishi, Busta Nuts, Donnavan McStab, George Whoreman, Mike "Bite that nigga" Tyson, Flabba Babba Wabba Jabba, Flava Flav, and Culexor of Youtube, to be Crowned Nigga King Of The Ring(Everyone now calls him King Booger)
- The Deadman defeated Ken Kennedy (...kennedy) in a Torronto Tourette match after Mr Kennedy got diqualified for repeating himself
- Main Event for the World Heavyweight Championship
HBgay defeated Bumtista, Triple aitch, and Brock Loser in a fatal whore way, before the match Hbgay bribed all three of them that if he gave them all free blowjobs that he should win the match and he did.
- 2 out of 3 Blowjobs match
Shawn Michaels defeated the Undertaker when HBGay got the highest amount of 30 blowjobs. World Fatass Championship match Micheal Moore deafeated Jack Black when Micheal Moore ate Black.
- 4 way elimination match
Tourettes Guy defeated Niko Bellic, Wafflepwn and Hornswoggle, Hornswoggle lost when Tourettes Guy called him a short_legged pissed off midget.
- Main Event Unwhorumble
Randy Hardy eliminated every person wrestlers, the last being the Star Wars Kid.