User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/stuffthatgoesonbagelsidunnowatermelonorsomething
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I, like many ordinary normal and totally sexually active men and women, sometimes like to indulge in the beautiful and entirely normal act of cybersex. This means I get to sit beside my computer, after going about my normal and entirely usual daily activities, such as like hanging out with chicks who will talk to me or something, occasionally in real life (score), and simulate the act of sexual intercourse, which I totally understand in all its gruesome details, by typing messages to some person on the internet. I think people who say that this is a degraded and shallow facsimile of sex should suck the tip of my hypothetically and undisprovably huge penis.