User:Anarchist Reynolds/Lords of the Underground

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

"All your bandwidth are belong to us."
~ LotU on your bandwidth


The Lords Beckon, and the world falls in line.

Once apon a time, in a place probably pretty close to where you are now unless you are in Asia, in which case sucks for you, there was a merry band of merry people who were not married. These merry people went to The Not Quite As Merry School in The Not So Merry State in The Even Less Merry Country. These merry people noticed the lack of merrieness at The Not Quite As Merry School and decided to 'merry it up a bit'. And so it was that these merriest of merry men banded together to form the merry organization we now merrily know as the Lords of the Underground (LotU). This group swore a merry blood pact to download countless numbers of merry and often random videos, games, and audio clips in an effort to soak up the bandwith at The Not Quite As Merry School like an insatiable merry mutant sponge. LotU now needed a way to make the cause public and so they decided to use the most influencial information center in the universe (the same one that decided George W. Bush beat Al Gore and thus dooming us to the insufferable years that followed), Myspace, where they developed a facination with yeti porn (don't ask). Sadly the Myspace fell on blind eyes and LotU's merrieness started to become less merry. And soon all of the enhabitants of The Not Quite As Merry School were forced to periodically worship Cecilia. This was truely the end of days... until the day we come back. Then the days will be back again. AND YOU SHALL WORSHIP US!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! In the year 2005, LotU became officially associtated with Satan, and his younger brother Stan. Due to LotU's frequent trips to both Hell, Heck, and Back, so many "frequent flier miles" have been accumulated that all future tickets cost one dollar each.

To be merrily continued...

As our merry lives continue in no particular direction, but rather meander vaguely about like a ship rocking side to side as we ROCK THE BUS (don't rock the bus baby!), we continue our thoughts...!! In this month (December) we have concluded amongst ourselves that we will make it our passion to pursue ultimate chaos through these next 31 days. Knuckles ain't got shit on us and Shadow is a whiny little pussy.

EMERGENCY!!! It seems an infadel has been causing mischief in this sacred realm. Aldon has been removed and replaced with a so called "Dark Iris" (notice his name is not in bold), Anarchist Reynolds has two theories, Either it is The Kibbled One who has made this shift, or a non-believer has desacrated this holy place. Until we can know who this "Dark Iris" is, we shall remove the person in question from the list, as according to "The Book of the Underground" which states that, "In order to become a Lord, the party in question must first get a unanimus affirmative vote from the current Lords and sign "The List of Lords" this will grant the party Lordship as well as infathomable knowledge and long kept secrets of The Underground and, as a bonus, get to have their name in bold.

Apparently Aldon Wizitt, The Kibbled One was not responsible for the act of vandalism. The Lords of the Underground have officialy declared war on Dark Iris and his non-bold name. If he wants to survive, he must contact us before Febuary 3, 2007. After that date, HE SHALL BE DESTROYED!!!

More ellipsis for added emphasis...

My fellow Lords and Ladies, the time has come to determine our system of government and elect a leader. Without such a leader we shall fail in our "coming," and suffer the intense and unbareable wrath of The Kibbled One. Power from order, and order from power! - A Lord

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! This is an announcement of great joy and celebration from the Underground. Eros Enfant has (after much consideration and undergoing of The Trial) officially been accepted as an honorary Lord in the Lords of the Underground. The said party has now had their name changed to Eros Enfant, The Smartass Punk Kid. Welcome to the Underground Eros. You shall be given the key to the Underground as well as told the mysteriously vague secrets of the Underground at a privately disclosed place at a privately disclosed time. --Anarchist Reynolds 18:15, 7 March 2007 (UTC)

~ The above was posted by Anarchist Reynolds, The Merry, Claxnos Redsear, The Lazy, Verac Conche, The Lucky, Aldon Wizitt, The Kibbled One, and Seaworthy Al, The Dazed. All of it.


Bringing down the world's bandwidth, one download at a time.


All your bandwidth are belong to us.

"The Book of the Underground"[edit]

The following are what the members of the Underground have translated thus far from the sacred text which is written in English, the Latin versions will soon be posted by Eros Enfant, The Smartass Punk Kid for no other reason than to confuse your feeble minds until they explode.


All Lords must constantly strive to maintain the balance of chaos needed to keep the world from exploding. There will come a day when a Lord known as The Kibbled One shall appear, he is the one who shall one day harken The Lords of the Underground's coming when they reveal themselves to the world and purge the Earth of all who are not worthy. In order to become a Lord, the party in question must first get a unanimus affirmative vote from the current Lords and sign "The List of Lords" this will grant the party Lordship as well as infathomable knowledge and long kept secrets of The Underground and, as a bonus, get to have their name in bold. There may be a chosen few appointed by the Lords to be Underlords. These few gain the honor of having their names in italics as well as the friendship of the Lords and promises that they will not be destroyed during "The Coming".

LATIN (the Way it was written because we felt like it, in blood, obviously):

Necesse est Omnibus Principibus semper temptare tenere ponderam incompositi qui necesse est ut mundus non conlabitur. Dies adveniebit ubi Princeps nomine Frendatus Unus apparebit; hic est qui uno die pronuntiebit advenientem Principorum Infernorum ubi hi apparebuntur mundi et tergebunt terram omnium non dignorum. Fieri Princeps, necesse est roganti quaerere suffrages omnorum Principorum ea tempestate et signare "Censum Principorum;" eo modo rogans fuerit Princeps et habebit sapientiam maximum et speciales Infernorum diu appertos, et, quam melior, ut nomine scribebitur magne. Pauci, selectus Principibus, Sub Principes fuerunt.Hi pauci habebunt nomines suos hoc modo et fuerunt amici Principorum. Quoque, pollicendo, non occidebuntur "Adveniendo".

Petition for underlord/Lord membership here (write your name, and stuff thats important, check back later for an answer) :

Quite possibly you may be asked to complete a "task" before admitance. When assinged this task you can not become a Lord/underlord, until it is finished. Harder tasks for Lords than underlords.

The Current Lords of the Underground[edit]

- Anarchist Reynolds, The Merry
- Claxnos Redsear, The Lazy
- Seaworthy Al, The Dazed
- Vegan Dimitri, The Random
- Hegemonical Bribe, The Evil
- Verac Conche, The Lucky
- Aldon Wizitt, The Kibbled One
- Namyk Eelinen, The French
- Ninja Lord, The Asian
- Eros Enfant, The Smartass Punk Kid
- Arbitrator Wynd, The Blonde
- Achua Dark, The Clueless
- Nine Tite, The Kitty
- Apeshit Snakes, The Short Tempered
- Yont Von Sash, The Black
- Yojan Boodler, The Tall
- Gean Jow, The Hax0r
- Tripart Gemsbuck, The Hunter
- Casconym Hillbillies, The Short
- Jager Chon, The Opposer
- Iluna Acid, The Learned One
- Ice Tyrant, The Kitty 2.0

Those Honored by the Lords of the Underground (Underlords)[edit]

- Batman
- Superman
- Eric Cartman
- Stewie Griffin
- Death 
- Chuck Norris
- Code Name V
- moot

Enemies of the Lords of the Underground[edit]

- Dark Iris


A rare picture of Anarchist Reynolds (beard not to scale)
Vegan Dimitri on the cover of Vegan magazine because he is a vegan. Vegan, vegan, vegan, I made you out of clay, vegan, vegan, vegan, with vegan I shall play. Ok that sounds kinda gay...
Claxnos Redsear confronting an enemy at the gates to The Underground, and slaughtering him, of course. The one in red, bacause its the color of blood, duh


Verac Conche wishing you a "Top o' the mornin'!" and stuff...
Seaworthy Al lounging in his private boat.
The only known picture of Hegemonical Bribe, the man who took it vanished shortly after.
Namyk Eelinen in Paris with her dog, Dog.
Ninja Lord just before he vanishes using his SECRET SHINOBI POWERS! and eating Namyk's dog.