From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search


~ Andro-lol on Livare

Juan Petrucci (a.k.a. Livare) is a 80 years old man. He's famous for being a very cool heavy metal guitarrist.

His Career[edit]

He began making a band called Ragnarok Offline, but Ungravity, creators of a porn game with the same name, demanded Livare, so he changed the band's name to Midgard. They went famous, but God killed all the other members of the band, so he joined to Dream Theater.

They made true hits, like Pull Me Over or Metropolis Pt. 1. He was a true legend, but then came a Fucking Machine of Destruction to hit Livare, so he never could play the guitar again (John Petrucci, his brother, replaced him).

Anyway, 20 years laters he found the cure, and he become a God of Metal.. and he did absolutely nothing.

This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.

Ragnarok Offline[edit]

This first band was composed by:

  • Juan with the first guitar, an axe
  • Daniel with the second guitar, a hammer
  • Jesus with the fucking drums
  • Lincoln with the buzz bass.
  • Taldo with the keyboard (of computers)
  • Tarantella (yes yes, the director) with nothing, he was the public.

This first band had lyrics about sex, blowjobs, porn, Jesus, and pretty sexy girls. It was trash, power, speedy, very heavy, so dark as black, destroyer and fucking rock metal.

Dream Theater[edit]

Nobody remembers him so nothing say a shit about him.