User:Banjo2e/Instant Water

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search


“Instant Water® is an excellent product. Just add water, and you have...water!”

~ Captain Obvious on Instant Water



Instant Water® is a miracle product, the latest in the "Instant" line. It is a pinnacle of science and technology. There is simply no alternative to it. It's an unprecedented innovation of existence. If you don't have at least one package of it, you are seriously behind the times, man.

How To Use Instant Water®[edit]

First, you take a specially designed Instant Water® cup. Then, go to a faucet or tap and place your cup under it. Now turn it on and fill your cup with water. And...


VOILA!


You have water! Hooray for you!

How Instant Water® Works[edit]

The terraforming gluons in the specially designed Ryporabin-Grolime cups are activated when Dihydrogen Monoxide, a primary component of tap water, comes into contact with the breakthrough hyperglucose ion receptors specially designed by NASA for their space missions. The DHMO is purified in the laser antimatter purification bath and converted by the biological filter into pure water.

Why You Need Instant Water®[edit]

Instant Water® gives you free, anywhere access to water as long as you have some water to add to it. Water has many uses:

  • It's tasty
  • Grues can not cross it
  • Chuck Norris's muscles are magnetically attracted to it (good in a deadly pinch)
  • Giving it to dehydrated African orphans repels [[

In addition, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a highly deadly component of tap water which is converted into water by our filters. For more information, click here.