User:Ben Grimm/James Madison

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James Madison
James Madison
Personal info
Nationality american
Date of birth 1922
Place of birth Minneapolis
Date of death 2000
Place of death Santa Rosa, CA
First Lady Dolly Madison
Political career
Order 4th President
Vice President Snoopy
Prime Minister Ran in 1965 election
Term of office 19502000
Preceded by Thomas Jefferson
Succeeded by James Monroe
Political party Tastycrat-Fingerlican


James Madison was an American cartoonist and advertising whore, as well as the fourth President of the United States.

Early Rise to Fame[edit]

James Madison grew fat and lazy off of his wife Dolly's snack cake business. A giant of a man, standing nearly eight feet tall and weighing over two metric tons at the time of his death, Madison was eventually unable even to move under his own power. He owed his vast size to certain mutagenic properties in some of the ingredients that remain in his wife's recipes to this day.

Cartooning[edit]

In 1950, Madison created the hugely popular comic strip Cashews. He used his earnings from this strip to become one of the greatest advertising whores in American history. His advertising earnins allowed him to found a variety of companies, including Met Life, and invent Cheerios.

Presidency[edit]

Despite his freakish appearance, Madison was elected president of the United States after devouring his Federalist opponent Charles Pinckney whole during their second presidential debate. During his presidency, some stuff happened, but nothing really important.

Father of the Constitution[edit]

Madison is known as the "Father of the Constitution," primarily because most of the actual framers of the constitution were his illegitimate children by a variety of women.

Preceded by:
Thomas Jefferson
President of the United States
1950-2000 AD
Succeeded by:
James Monroe