User:Benifeddy The 7th
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But let's give it a chance. The author will finish it later.
Avalon Benifeddy was a righteous dude who contributed many things to history and science over his lifetime. On March 90th, 182, Benifeddy graduated from Roc High in Instigo City, Canadia. The school awarded him his Everything Degree, and he then went on to become one of the greatest writers of all time. In 190, Benifeddy produced the world’s first written play, “Holy Bible”. However unknown to him, the play once acted, changed the way the world thought about stuff from that moment on. To his dismay, the play that was supposed to entertain the city, split the masses into 2 groups. The 2 groups fought over what was right, “Holy Bible”, or the almighty rock in the center of the city. This resulted in a worldwide war, except there were only 500 people at that time in the mega-city of Instigo, Canadia. The two sides were called the red and blue teams. After an hour of destructive war, the blue team found the city’s electrical source, at the center of the city. It was a calculator powered by light, they broke it and won. Then the world exploded and history started again.
Benifeddy thwarts death
Sometime in 700BAC, Benifeddy discovered that if you throw an egg at a tree it breaks. These tests later led to the discovery of gravity and the sky. In 780BAC, Benifeddy was an old man, and was suffering from a disease known then as Plague. As the disease stole from his health it also stole from his IQ, which was currently 20. In result, Benifeddy descended into madness, writing numbers, and spawning two different types of mathematical systems, the imaginary number system, where the only rule is i = -1 so you cant shovel it, this system is still taught in schools today. For some reason. The 2nd system came to him in a dream. It was a system of numbers, triangles, smiley faces, and driving pizzas. The system was released worldwide in his first book “Pythagaman is wrong.” It soon became known as algebarthic, the easiest mathematical system ever. By claiming that 2 sin x 3 = triangle + speeding pizza, he gained control over life and death. And became immortal. He died in the year 1200.
Benifeddy does other stuff too.
In 1969, Avalon Benifeddy set sail for America and discovered America. He then crafted a toothbrush from pine cones found on the new soil, wrote Hamlet, ate M&Ms, and started a garage rock band called Nirvana, which proceeded to write deep philosophical lyrics for songs about mashed potatoes, splinters, school, and a guy who sold the world for a chicken sandwich.
On October 25G, 2000, Benifeddy was arrested and accused of being a heretic. He spent 7 long hours in jail, and it was then decided by Simon Cowell and Judge Judy that Benifeddy sucked at singing and should thus be put to death.
On October 26, 2000, Benifeddy was taken into a school where he was then put to death by a humorless teacher. He was strapped to the faucet of a giant sink, and slowly burned to death. His last words were as follows
"INSTANT GO START!!!! You're only making world better dangerous! Think of child-------RENNNNNNNNNNNNN-----.............I might be dead now........ No? More mutilation of the grammar then! ACCCCK BLEH."
Benifeddy was dead.
All around the world, people started crying for no reason at all. Even teachers aside from Judge Judy, Simon Cowell, and New Hampshire. Their tears tried to bring Benifeddy back, but tears did absolutely nothing but make Satan smile.
Then Jesus H Christ, Ultra Jesus, Perfect Mega Jesus, Bizarro Jesus, and Mr. T, all pitied the foo, and Benifeddy was brought back from the dead, teacher was reversed to rehcaet by Soviet Russia, Santa Claus got his powers back, school was eliminated, you got ice cream, and everybody cheered.
After Benifeddy came back to life, Mr. T pitied the foo's who brought him back for stealing his pity revival, thus creating a pity explosion. This reversed the effect of everything the Jesii did in the last 5 minutes. Except resurrecting Benifeddy. So sorry, you didnt get ice cream. No ice cream for you! This also created taxes and destroyed Pluto. Noone ever messed with Mr T again after that.
Benifeddy Squared Times 3.5
Recent scientific research by scientists has proven that there is more than one Benifeddy. In fact, today, there are at least Seven known Benifedii who roam the Earth and the Everywhere. This evidence refers back to the Benifible, a book resembling a common bible, recently dug up in Southern Asia by this guy. According to the Benifible, Line 32, Page K, this is found
There be not one Benifeddy, ever. Never ever. For that would be limited. Thine world is too stale for 1. There shalt be 1 Benifeddy for every land, thus law and chaos preserved be.
The scientists worked for days to decipher this message, and translate it into common american english for George W Bush to understand, under his orders. They, however, failed miserably. And so the project, along with all funds, was transferred to a 5th grade homeroom as their class project. The children, working with 50 minutes, deciphered the code in 13 minutes, stating that
"The message obviously clarifies the fact of Benifeddy being of not just one entity, but as many as there are lands, which is seven."
The scientists, gratified that they wouldn't lose their jobs, thanked the 5th grade class by giving each of them 20,000 dollars straight from your wallet
This may or may not cause reprocussions of evil in the future.