User:Cajek/Why?:Have A Mortal Enemy

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Everyone who is worth their salt has a mortal enemy. In nature, in life, in movies, everybody has a mortal enemy. However, you can't just get one like you get your groceries: there are rules to this "game" that you may not have realized.


Yes there are many rules to having a mortal enemy:

  • You must hate your mortal enemy with every fiber of your being
  • You must choose the right mortal enemy
    • enemy must be on the other side of the whole good vs. evil thing
    • enemy must be a roughly equal match for you in combat
    • enemy must not be able to ever actually defeat you or you would be screwed
  • You can not kill your enemy or the game would end
  • You enemy must always be in a stale-mate with you
  • You must be willing to engage your worst enemy in a machete battle to the death
  • It is reccommended that you have a list of spare enemies in case your normal enemy is killed or defeated.(an example is provided below):

Michael Jackson,Amy Winehouse,Martha Stewart,Oprah Winfrey,Sarah Palin,Paris Hilton,Joseph Stalin,Zombies,Satan,Hippies

Hey, Why?[edit]

It's okay to not have a mortal enemy: two-thirds of the world don't have one, including hippies, old people (but only the ones who weren't messed up in the war), and Buddhists.

Hey, What Is A Mortal Enemy?[edit]

A mortal enemy is a horrible person who seems to exist only to ruin your life. Mortal enemies can prove to be annoying in a vast array of ways such as: being slightly better than you at everything, apposing you unlimited power, repeating everything you say, and hating everything abut you.