User:Capt willard

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The Honourable Sir Field Marshall Duke of Perth Adam J. O'Grady is a man of not much esteem.

He lives a life of humble servitude to the great honourable god of the Administration of Uncyclopedia. Recently spotted living in Australia, this was naught but an optical illusion brought on by copious amounts of alcohol. In reality Adam lives in a top secret military headquarters located at 73b Goderich St, East Perth, Perth, Western Australia, Undisclosed Location, 6004.


In The Beginning[edit]

Like most people, Adam was born without his parents having any sexual contact at all. Because that whole line of thought is plain silly and disturbing. He grew up with decent intelligence and a thirst for the blood of his enemies. This was the main cause of casualties in the American Civil War.

The Primary School Years[edit]

During primary school he began neutral like everyone else but as time passed was eventually ostracised from the popular groups and became more of a nerd and recluse, but that suited his and Pikachu's plans for world domination just fine. During his seventh and final year at Hogwarts... I mean. North Perth Primary School. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Forget anything you heard about it or super-soldiers. Anyway, in his seventh year he gained a scholarship to a new academic school and began to look forward to a new beginning as a nerd and recluse again.

The Early High School Years[edit]

During years 8 and 9 at Shenton College, Adam kept us his usual recluse and nerdy nature, which was helped along by being in the smartass group. These times were pretty boring and repetitive and also boring and repetitive and a bit boring and repetitive and the only major thing of note is his parents seperation, the beginning of the next era.

The Sleaze Year[edit]

Sadly enough this was the year of his first real kiss at age 14.5. To fit in with his military/freak stereotype it had to be on a cadet camp with the controversial (name removed). After this he became a sleaze and player of annoying renown and became something he used to hate. This life consumed him until the point one of his ex-girlfriends hooked up with his friend who then bashed him while Adam worked as a trolleyboy for Coles (really an undercover operation to take over the world, but with worse pay then a secret agent). Adam quit the job, reformed and got a two week job during the summer holidays (Australian summer, December to Febuary) at his dad's place of work, Koast Tyres.

The Present[edit]

After some disturbing interactions with an anonymous female, Adam became even more reformed and dyed his hair blue to ward off vampires and liberals. He is now bisexual and is back to being single with nothing more then an ADSL internet connection and a fuckbuddy to keep him company.

50px This user is an Australian
... Strewth! Crikey! Fark!
(List of Australian Uncyclopedians)
bu-N This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.
au-N This user is a native speaker of 'Straylyan.
en-N This user is a native speaker of English.
re-4 This user speaks Recondite English at a near-native level.
fr-E This user only speaks Fran├žais because it was a required course in school.
17-X This user only speaks 1337 enough to seduce native 1337 speakers.
enl-P This f****r speaks English, but Louder heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
us-G This user does not speak American English and furthermore believes American English to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of American English.
lz-G This user does not speak Lesbian and furthermore believes Lesbian to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Lesbian.


Basic Information[edit]


  • Me
  • Your Dad
  • Your Mum
  • Dead Babies
  • Music
    • Industrial
    • Heavy Metal
    • Alternative Rock
    • Electronica
    • Grunge
  • Hungry Jacks
  • Dyed hair
  • Being an individual/being me
  • Screwing with societies values and attitudes.
  • Weapons, Firearms, military history, tactics, etc
  • Intelligent conversation and debating




Attending school to gain access to University where he wishes to study Villainy Advanced. Currently doing Information Systems, Introductory Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, English, Political And Legal Studies. Is doing pretty well over the board, nothing majorely brilliant.

Outside Acheivements[edit]

Black belt in World Shotokan Karate-Do Federation at year 7 (11.5 years). Attained rank of Sergeant in 502 Australian Army Cadet Unit. Currently attending kickboxing and already triple-graded to Pro-Orange. In his free time he pumps free weights at his mum's, rides around Perth's bridges or spends too much time in front of computer.


He would like to dedicate his life to his parents for buying him at the baby shop (thats where babies come from, no excuses. Period. Menstruation.), his parents again for divorcing and starting to screw him up, his first kiss Claire for being a bitch and making him a tougher person and more loveless, Fiona for screwing me up a shitload and making me loveless, Jessica, Andrea, Juliet and Sally for their caring and showing me how to love again, school for making me excluded and a nerd. Love you all.

Member of the Order

As a side note, Adam is the only known person with a no longer angsty LiveJournal. He has evolved into a real human. Even if a sarcastic and cynical one who doesn't like you.

See Also[edit]

Notes About User[edit]

--Capt willard 16:52, 30 May 2006 (UTC)