User:Cosmicjester/Monash university

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Monash University
Motto Ancora imparo ("I didnt get in to Melbourne Uni")
Established 1958
School type Public
Location Clayton, Victoria, Australia
Campus Suburban

Monash University is Australia's largest University by student population, with over 20 Australian students (plus 120 000 indians). The university is one of Australia's and in fact the worlds most prestegious education institutions. In Australia it ranks highly, only coming behind Melbourne Uni, ANU, University of Sydney, University of Queensland, UWA, USA, Uni Adeleide and most of the primary schools in Darwin. The university boasts that over half of its profesors have completed high school and almost a quarter of graduates find employment in thier first year out of uni (and in some cases have actually found employment outside of the fast food industry)

The university motto is Ancora imparo, Latin for "I didnt get in to Melbourne Uni", the motto holds relevance for all Monash students


History[edit]

The Rober Menzies building, some students have complained at its lack of electricity and windows

Monash University is a commissioned Victorian university. The university was commisioned by parliment to boost the falling sales of beer and prostitution. It was built and designed by a prominent group of Melbourne University dropouts in 1956, including Batman and Sir John Monash. Construction began on the new university, with many Melbourne Uni architects designing the famed Robert Menzies building or Arts and Humanities, which was praised for its soviet bloc inspired design and the fact that it was made purely from asbestos. The famous building has inspired architects all around the world, in how not to make a building.

The university which has fallen in world ranking to an all time low 568th world wide (just one ahead of Harvard). The university promotes that it is strong in other areas, including the highest number of enrolled monkeys in undergraduate courses and as the university with the highest amount of asbestos

Faculties[edit]

  • Art and Design
    • Department of Graffiti
    • Department of Photoshop abusing
    • Department of Glue and paint sniffing
  • Arts
    • School of Pornography Appreciation
    • School of History and stuff
    • School of Centrelink
    • School of Languages that arent english
    • School of Music geeks
    • School of Philosophy and other useless crap
  • Business & Economics
    • Department of Economics and tax fraud
    • Department of Management and pimping
    • Department of Marketing and drug dealing
  • Engineering
    • Department of social skills for engineers
    • Female conversation for engineers
  • Information Technology
    • School of pornography downloading
    • School of world of warcraft grinding
    • School of mp3 sharing
  • Law
    • The Schapelle Corby "Im Innocent" School of Law
a group of monsh law students prepare for final exams

Student Life[edit]

Monash is well known as having an extremly political student body. Political views on campus range from the left to the far left. Students at Monash are well known for their numerous protests, most famously a week long protest in 1975 calling for an Australian retreat from World War 2 (despite the war ending many decades earlier), a 1985 protest to give monkeys the right to vote in elections and a petition and letter writing campaign in 1992 against the assasination of Julius Casear.

Monash is well known for the abundance of alcohol on campus, despite not yet having its own library, thier are 12 pubs on campus. Outrage was caused in 2004 however when students were only allowed to bring 2 bottles of spirits of 1 slab or beer into exams. A comprimise was settled between the student union and the faculty where it was decided drinking contests could now be graded and used as credit to students exit score.

Monash Students Association[edit]

There are approximately 130 000 students at the university, represented by the Monash Students Association. The MSA is considered the most extreme left wing student union in the country, however the student union has replied to these accusation's as "typical Liberal party crap"

The MSA has come under critisism for promoting extremist viewpoints, on and off campus. Including spending the majority of its budget to try and elect David Hicks as Prime Minister of Australia. The Womens room has also come under critisism, like many universities with a dedicated womens room, many have asked why not a mens room aswell? However the union has come under more critisism for the Gay Albino's room, lesbian monkey room and alcoholic poltergeist support group

The union is currently involved in the fight for land rights for gay whales



Proffesor snuggles, the first monkey to be dean of a law school