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Blanking or vandalising this page can be deadly ... or worse.
1,406 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, and disfigured for daring to edit this page.
If you just got here and are mortally offended by these blatant lies,
please read About Uncyclopedia and the Beginner's Guide,
then go fuck yourself. Seriously, that's a much safer alternative than anything else you have in mind.


Hello my name is Craig but thats Mr Craig to you... Have a look round my user page and all of my templates which i have lazily put on...not that i'm making you look or anything....its your choice you know...i don't want to force you....

I AM AGAINST ANY FORM OF KITTEN HUFFING...not really hehehehe........

The articles which I have improved dramatically[edit]

Human vs. Kitten War


Species Homo Erectus Eroticus
Classification British
Position The President of the Great and Glorious Republic of Hell
Motive Form an army to take control of Uncyclopedia by Force (use of the Grue army).
Weapon Killer Eye Beams
Super Powers Telekenisis
Born September 28th, 1BC.
Attribute Awesomenessess
Level 12000
ATK 120000
Type Demon Warrior

. . . .

British flag.gif This user is a total UKer
and knows how to spell.
(British Uncyclopedians)
This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.

This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to Main_page.

RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Tux-thinkpad.png This user spends more time with a penguin than with a window.

Pi3.14.jpg This user loves pi
IP This user's IP is

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This user is a geek.
Nuvola apps important.png This user hates you and everyone you care about.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
  1. REDIRECT Template:User explode
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #ffff00;"
center;font-size:14pt;" | typo-P
Tihs f****r spekas Typo ehavily laced wirh profanitt taht woudl amke a f*****g a*****e salior bluhs form all teh g******d balshpemy.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This user is a grue and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

Biohazardnew.jpg This user is an evil clone of [[User:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]].
750px-High voltage warning.svg.png No user serviceable parts inside.

Naturalhabitat.jpg This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.
Smoking Sign.gif
This user adept of suicide in small fees. Cool, aint it?
Mario-lo-res.jpg This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Kid1.gif This user seriously needs to calm down.
Happysatan.jpg Satan loves this user, and will be seeing him/her in hell shortly.
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.

Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.
48px-Face-surprise.svg.png This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.

This user's sex appeal is such that people around the world compulsively shout his name during intercourse.

Grue Jammy.gif This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
Deadbarney3.gif This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.