User:DawnLei/politically correct

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Wikipedia have an article about politically correct.

Politically Correct refers to a very particular type of social constraint placed on an individual. It is best understood by its antonym, politically incorrect, also known as Inappropriate, and can be utilized in a variety of methods (i.e. Politically Incorrect speech, Politically Incorrect behavior, or Politically Incorrect touching).

Politically Incorrect is boldly exemplified by the articles contained within the website titled Uncyclopedia. In fact, Uncyclopedia seems to take a perverse pride in the publishing any and all observations no matter how rude, offensive or blasphemous. The website is currently under fire from the prestegious organizations, Libertarian Interests and Corporate Know-How (LICK), Misogynists Yoo-nite! (MY), and Clubs Unifying Nerds Together (CUNT).

A typical day for the Political Correctness Police

Please Try Our Examples[edit]

An example of Politically Incorrect behavior (and, coincidentally, Politically Incorrect speech) would be to blithely point out the pink elephant in the middle of the living room (see also swept under the carpet). Political Incorrectness is exacerbated in the details, for instance not only is the pink elephant in the middle of the living room identified, but also the exact length and circumference of its trunk, the fact that it is pink, if its breath is bad, and whether or not it has poo stuck to its anus.

MmmmmmMmmm.......Yellow Fever

An extremely specific example would be to refer to an African American as someone who plays basketball well, or to talk about his expected enormous penis, or to call him a Nigger, unless, of course, you are an African American speaking with another African American in which case you can use the term Nigger time and time again, over and over, redundantly, repeatedly, with impunity, and without punishment. Another faux pas would be to refer to a person of Asian background as slanty-eyed, even if you believe slanty-eyes to be remarkably beautiful and are someone afflicted with the Politically Incorrect Yellow Fever. Ditto for admiring tightly curled hair and bee stung lips indicating your obvious proclivity for Chocolate Love. By these examples, we can see the rules of political incorrectness are inconsistently applied, can be the universal judgment of the receiver rather than the intended communication of the sender.

Politically Incorrect touching is basically anything scatological in nature (i.e. has my poo part touched your poo part). Ditto for pee part touching pee part, pee part touching poo part, or poo part touching pee part. Unmentionably Politically Incorrect touching is poo part or pee part touching speech part.

Politically Incorrect also serves as the name of a TV show hosted by Bill Maher and is famous for not only naming the pink elephant in the middle of the living room but also declaring the exact nature of his erectile dysfunction and masturbatory therapies.

The Effect of Gamma Rays on Human Interaction[edit]

Politically Incorrect behavior has its roots during the 60s when sun-worshipping and tanning reached its apex. White people (now called Caucasians) were no longer white, they were brown, in some cases browner than the Blacks (now called African Americans). Then during the 70s, the so-called Diversity Marriages (i.e. interracial marriages) became popular creating a race of Blacks who were lighter than their tanned White contemporaries. All this created a skin color conundrum. It was inconvenient, to say the least, and unpopular, to say the most, to refer to tanned Whites as Brown-White and mixed-race-Blacks as Black-Lite. People were confused: What if you were both mixed race and had a suntan? What if you had a dark tan? Does the one-drop rule still hold? Would a tanned Oriental person be referred to as Yellow-Brown? Should Homos be called Rainbows? Would a Jew be Blue? Out of this morass, this swirling vortex of questions, labels, and euphemisms, was spat Political Correctness.

I’m Ok, You’ve Got a Disorder[edit]

By the 80s, peoples sensitivities were running at an all time high and personal responsibility hit a new low. Gone was the childhood mantra, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!”. One could not make an observation about any physical characteristic, like “Golly, you’re obese,” or even the more covert behind-the-back observation, “Golly, she’s obese,” without suffering social shunning.

"It's not my fault you're fat!" says Chester Cheetah

Aiding this new trend were scientific discoveries describing any human characteristic as a social disorder, psychosis, or DNA inherited chemical imbalance. So, if you are someone who is hot headed, if you lose your temper easily, or if you take pride in your assault record, it is not because you are weak with your emotions or can’t deal with your issues. You probably are afflicted with Inherited Douchebag Disorder. And in no way are you responsible for any irresponsible outbreaks as they are a symptom of a disease. Anyone holding you responsible for your behavior is not only demonstrating poor taste but a lack of compassion.

Since people with too much “junk in their trunk” are victims of a chemical imbalance in their brain that not only causes the stomach to turn food into fat, but impels them to eat the Big Party package of Puffy Cheetos in one sitting, to refer to them as Fat or Obese became an insensitivity of the highest order. More positive words like People Who Are Girth Enhanced became the norm. Similarly, dwarves and midgets went from Little People to People With Optimal Center of Gravity. The main trick in knowing how to refer to an individual’s characteristic is to limit the semantic accuracy of any observation lest it be found too descriptive.

The Shelf-Life Theory of Euphemisms[edit]

It is conventionally understood that politically correct words, or euphemisms, have a shelf life of 6.9 years before people get used to the word (or tired of the word) (or generally lose that "good feeling" for the word) (or think that the word doesn't accurately reflect who they are) and the word becomes insulting again. New trends are consistently being developed. For instance, Dago was once commonly acceptable for someone from Italy, but society grew weary and replaced it with Italian American.

Out of Africa: "The journey of 72,359 miles begins with one step....followed by 127,351,840 more steps." says Dr. Cox N. Bahls PhD regarding the migration of humans out of Africa and eventually to America.

Your Ancestors Came From Where?[edit]

Studies in anthropology and world history, providing new insights into the human journey and man’s origin, have spawned the latest euphemistic trend. Questions originated from the studies of Native Americans by Dr. Cox N. Bahls, PhD., Dean of the School of Racial Assignations and Polite Ethnocentrism at Mississippi Educational Establishment (RAPE-MEE). According to Dr. Bahls, Native Americans were originally and offensively called Indians, due to the ignorance of European settlers/invaders, and then later called Native Americans by our sensitive society. As Dr. Bahls indicates, that is ridiculous, because these so-called Native Americans did not spring from American soil and really aren’t native to America at all. This branch of humans had traveled out of Africa, through Middle East, over the Ural Mountains (Slav territory) into Northeast Asian Steppes, and down the Bering Strait to America roughly 25,000 years BCE. Thus, the obvious reference for the formerly known Indians, now called Native Americans, is African Middle Eastern Slavic Siberian Asian Canadian Americans.

Who Likes This Idea?[edit]

The Migration Movement is widely applauded by the broadly categorized Caucasians, which are repeatedly, and disrespectfully, called Honky. More specific terminology is required. For instance, your relatives may have come from Africa, then traveled through the Middle East and Europe, into Norway, to then conquer Britain during the Viking Age, finally to emigrate to Pre-Revolutionary America where they conquered the land previously owned by African Middle Eastern Slavic Siberian Asian Canadian Americans. The new and more accurate category for you is African Middle Eastern European Norwegian British American.

The Movement also dovetails nicely with African Americans whose ancestors were forced into America by the slave trade, and African Americans whose ancestors emigrated to America by choice. Questions were raised by groups of African Americans descended from former slaves who are demanding reparations from the government. To ensure such future monies are fairly distributed, the new references, African Voluntary American and African Enforced American, were developed.

Can't We All Just Get Along?[edit]

It is interesting to note that common to all the racial categories and, in fact, the leading term, is African. Since we are all African, you can safely refer to everyone as “My Niggah.”

See Also[edit]

I'm Rubber, You're Glue