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Welcome to Inexistence. Enjoy your stay.

3 This user has written 3 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Water intoxication, underscore, and eternal life. What do they have in common? I made them.
Brain.gif This user's IQ is larger then yours.

And you know it always will be.
Monbags.jpg This user is POOR,

has never passed GO,

and never collected $200.00.

Please donate to the δ.ο.ε fund.
This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

I am not Latin, however.
This user walks down the
left hand path
Thus, they would be considered evil by the Catholic Church.
(List of left hand path Uncyclopedians)
I have no more to do with Satanism then I do with the cabal. There is no cabal!
British Royal Family.jpg This user is a monarch, or a megalomaniac.

I am Emperor of Inexistence, to be exact.
Sign1.png This user is a mutant.
This may or may not be true.
This user is unsure of his or her gender and doesn't want to know.

I'm pretty sure this isn't true.
Paladin.gif This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
Either that, or it's a'll never know.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This user is a grue and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?


This user is reading your thoughts!

Exactly. I know what you're thinking.
Msyclopaintia.jpg This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
It's actually all I can afford.
Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

It's better then Internet Explorer, from what I can tell.
Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

Now, I'm not sure what that means...

This user is one of His Noodleyness' very own Chosen People.

And I'm also a ninja. Who says I can't be both?
nj This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.
It's already to late for you...
Shuriken.jpg This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.
See, I'm more ninja then pirate.
DenmarkViking.jpg This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.
The same thing as pirate, only different.
Dracula1.jpg This user is a vampire. Please keep him/her out of direct sunlight.
Only at night. Watch your neck.
Zombie man.jpg This user is a zombie, and will think twice before messing with SCO again.
Only when I don't get enough sleep. Which is too often.
Mario-lo-res.jpg This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
I wouldn't say creepy...
Assassin.JPG This user is an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear this user.

You're next.
File:Merc.jpg This user is a Mercenary and chooses their own wars to fight in.
Just give me a target. And plenty of cash. I'll provide the firepower.
This user is a Sniper and has his/her rifle pointing at your head.
Don't give me a reason to pull the trigger...
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop.jpg
.eurt ton ylbaborp si sihT
Villianc.jpg This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.
No seriously, there is no cabal. Now stop questioning me!
IP This user's IP is

Or is it?
This user does not exist.
3dspork.png This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.
And now I have to kill you.
Mad scientist caricature.png This user is a Mad Scientist.

Only slightly mad. Oh so very slightly.

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

They're after me! I know they are!
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.

Now, I wouldn't say pyro...
Homeless2.jpg This user is homeless.
Have I mentioned yet that I'm untrustworthy, or is that further down this list?
Napoleon4.jpg This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
That's what I want you to think!
Earth.gif This user can be found on the Uncyclopedia Frappr Map.
No, you can't prove that I don't live in Area 51.
Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.
Don't look, or else!
? This user is anonymous. That is, numbskull, he or she doesn't want you to know who he or she is.
Unanimously anonymous.
Canadian snowman.jpg This user is cooler than you.
Like ice.
750px-High voltage warning.svg.png No user serviceable parts inside.

What does that even mean?
1337 This user is elite.
I am elite, but I don't approve of 1337. (_)$(_)411Y.
Nuvola apps important.png This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Let's hope not. For your sake.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
I might as well have invented lazy.
OBN.png This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

I see you!
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
I'll finish this later.
Nuvola apps important orange.svg This user should not be trusted.
You can trust me, trust me!
No Wikipedia.png
This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there.
I have nothing to do with the place. Besides doing most of my research there.
NO This user doesn't care.
I just don't.
DramaticQuestionMark.png This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
Numbersix.gif This user is not a number, s/he is a free wo/man!
hey! The above wasn't my fault!

Nothing is my fault, ever. That's just the way things are.
Indeed, I am.
ETP Help end hunger! Eat the poor!
Equal benefit to all. End world hunger and poverty.
Earth Western Hemisphere.jpg This person helps reduce overpopulation by killing people, helping the environment.
After all, it's only .07%...
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
My favorite weekend activity.
Jihad.jpg This user believes that there's nothing like a proper Jihad to ease your pain
Don't make me go Jihad on you!
Bjorkbeams.jpg This user has eye beams.
Fear my eye beams!
Popeeyebeams.jpg This user has eye beams.
Ouroboros.gif This user worships Ouroboros and joyously celebrates His return.
All hail Krispy Kreme!

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

Whoever this BENSON dude is, I'm way better.
bu-N This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.
I speak it quite fluently, actually.
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #000000;"
center;font-size:14pt;" | typo-G
This user does not speak Typo and furthermore believes Typo to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Typo.
It's quite despicable.
Official This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.
Doesn't it sound so official?
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to user:denial.of.existence/δ.ο.ε.

Yes, it's true. Now go away.

--D.o.e.PNG 09:24, 2 May 2007 (UTC)