User:Frinko/Drew Pickles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Adult neon.gif NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.

“That went swell.”

~ Drew Pickles on Having a gay orgy

“I love to have orgies with him.”

~ Barney on Drew Pickles

“He is a fag.”

~ Captain Obvious on Drew Pickles

“He broke my Gaydar! And I was 50 miles away from him!”

~ Dawn on Drew Pickles

“OH GOD NO! *breaks down and cries*”

~ May on Max getting rumped

“YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU ASS!”

~ May on Swearing Vengeance

“Oh shit, he's got a weapon! I'm gonna need some assistance rounding him up!”

~ Riza Hawkeye on Trying to arrest Drew and avoid getiing hurt by his deadly poisonous penis
Drew Pickles.

Drew Pickles is, without a doubt, the Gayest man alive. He has won the major league in penis baseball. He is married to Barney the Dinosaur.

Early Life[edit]

Drew Pickles grew up as a gay child. When he was just born, his cock was five feet long. It grew much bigger every second when he was very young. Drew liked to masturbate to The Wiggles, Spongebob, and Dragon Tales. His dick got very hard, and much longer.

Drew's controversy at school[edit]

When Drew was the age of five years old, he started his first day of school, with a twenty mile long cock hiding in his pants. He always fucked the kids in the classroom, and splooged on the teacher, and he's destroyed some school propety with his large cock. Things were getting out of control. Drew fucked about 5,000 kids at his school and the kids got all horny and fucked everything in the school, and then they cummed all over eachother and made a swimming pool in their school of cum.

Growing up[edit]

When Drew was 10 years old, he liked to poop on his dad (who is now called Grandpa Louis) all day. In fact, Drew skipped lots of school because he wanted to stick dildos up his ass and poop on his dad all day. When Drew was 11, he got this own computer with the Internet installed. Drew jacked off to Wiggles hentai and Arthur scat porn. He couldn't stop. He couldn't go to sleep for almost a whole week, just sitting there, jacking off to the pornographic Wiggles images on his computer. He couldn't stop! Eventually, he jizzed so much he got it all over the computer, causing it to malfunction and break. He cried for days and days and days, finally cheering up when his father gave him suprise buttsex.

Job at the gay bar[edit]

He started getting erections all the time from Barney, so Drew visited the gay bar twice a day to strip for gay old men, and Drew received lots of money to buy a giant dildo to stick up his ass all day. Drew was a gay stripper for twenty years.

Marriage and divorce[edit]

When Drew was about thirty, he was married with Charlotte. Drew didn't want to be married with a woman, but Drew was tired of men for that period. But then Drew decided to fuck men instead of women, so he raped men every night when Charlotte is sleeping. Sometimes Drew raped Angelica in the ass all day, he said it was oodles of fun, so he did it all the time. One night, she found out how he was raping other men, and devorced him. He then married Barney afterward. They had 20 gay boys. Charlotte later married her associate Jonathan simply for the sex and she would often call the shots to continue to abuse him.

In the Penis Sports League[edit]

Drew entered himself in the Penis Sports League, and won every boner baseball game, dick vault, sploodgeball, and many other gay sports. He won the championship every year. Drew was sent to Barney's Penis World to play the worldwide Penis Olimpics! He did successful in all of the games, and he even performed in the laser light show by doing magic tricks with his dick. It was there that he met and fell in love with Barney himself, and they wound up having hot sticky anal sex one night.

Filmography[edit]

Drew Pickles starred in over 67,000 porn movies. Most of the pornos had Big Bird, Wiggles, Stu Pickles or Barney in it. Drew Pickles made over eight-hundred million dollars for creating this pornos. Drew Pickles produced, directed and starred in all of his pornos. Some of Drew's pornos were over fifteen days long, and sometimes each porno DVD case included a free tissue when you cum too much. You can buy Drew Pickles' hawt pornos at your local Blockbuster!

Here's a list of some of Drew's famous pornos:

  • Drew Pickles Strip Club Sex (1977)
  • Caligula (1979) (Uncredited and all his gay orgy scenes were destroyed by Bob Guccione and Giancarlo Lui)
  • The Faggot Terminator (1984)
  • I want a Cock (1986)
  • Kneel before your Penisy God (1989)
  • Cocksuckers from Cuba (1990)
  • Homo Scat Party (1991)
  • The Faggot Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
  • Anal Juices Waterpark (1993)
  • Poopy Butt Sex (1994)
  • Pickles and more penis pickles (1995)
  • Dicksicles on Ice (1996)
  • Ass Invaders from Planet XXX (1997)
  • Holy Shit He's Huge (1998)
  • Drew Pickles Penor Party (1999)
  • Gay Old Time (2000)
  • Dude, Where's my Cum? (2000)
  • Saving Dick the Clown's Penis (2000)
  • Treasures Buried in a Fat Man's Ass (2001)
  • Drew Pickles and the Goatse Gang (2001)
  • The Evil Penis From The Pube Forrest (2001)
  • Sucks So Good (2002)
  • Drew Pickles Space Sex (2002)
  • Asshole Lovers' Adventures (2003)
  • The Faggot Terminator 3: Rise of the Heterosexuals (2003)
  • Samurai Pederasty (2003)
  • Gay Gay Gay Men (2004)
  • Going Downtown to Testicle Town (2005)
  • Buttman Begins (2005)
  • The Biggest Cock in the Universe (2005)
  • Underwater Suxxx (2006)
  • Gay Man: The legend of Drew Pickles (2007)
  • Drew Pickles and the Goatse Gang: Reloaded (2007)
  • Gym Fuckers (2007)
  • Transformers - Dildos In Disguise (2007)
  • Drew Vs Cockzilla (2007)
  • Drew and The Giant Penis (2008)
  • The Incredible Cock (2008)
  • The Dark Dildo (Sequel to Buttman Begins) (2008)
  • James Cock: Super Secret Faggot Agent 069 (2009)
  • Upcoming biopic (2010)

List of Notable People that Drew Has Fucked[edit]

Drew has had sex with over 1/500th of the world population. Here is a list of some notable people that Drew buttraped: